Clerk: I saw you driving earlier, did you get your license back?
Customer: Yeah, it's all good now. If I could only stay out of the bar…
Clerk: You don't think there's a connection between those two things?
Customer: What do you mean?
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: BFS
Office girl #1: I hear some women have an orgasm when going through childbirth.
Office girl #2: Not unless you've got a finger in my butthole.
West Lafayette, Indiana
Guy #1: You have to try this.
Guy #2: No, that's okay.
Guy #1: Seriously, you have to.
Guy #2: I'm not putting your nuts in my mouth.
Guy #1: (walks away)
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Owner: He's a great guy. Well, he can be a great guy. Sometimes. Okay, he's dying. He has cancer.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Stunned server, after seeing shapely female exec chef in street clothes: Chef! You're a girl!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: irrelevant
Claims supervisor to claims processor: You will need to send out a denial form on this one. The renter's policy does not cover contraction of sexually transmitted diseases while visiting the apartment.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: GirlFriday
Sales girl: Can I help you find anything today?
Middle-aged woman: Yeah, um…
Teenage daughter: What headphones here work with my iPod?
Sales girl: Any of these in this section. Is there a particular kind you are looking for?
Middle-aged woman: Um, are you sure? Could you ask someone and make sure?
Sales girl: Um…
Teenage daughter: Mom, she said these ones.
Sales girl: Let me know if you have any questions…
(five minutes later)
Middle-aged woman to new sales guy: Hi, I was wondering if these headphones will work with an mp3 player?
New sales guy: Um… Uh… Hang on. Julie*, do these…
Sales girl, with her back turned: Yeah, yeah, they do.
New sales guy, laughing: That was quick.
Sales girl: No psychic powers. She already asked me. I guess she just wanted a second opinion with a penis.
Teenage daughter: Good job, mom.
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: You've Got Questions; We've Got Blank Stares
CSR: I saw the dumbest program on television last night.
Assistant Manager: You'll have those on television.
Indiana
Administrator: The college president is in the process of finding an old nun.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Sales exec: I will beat you to death with your own umbrella.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Heather
