Pretty bisexual waitress: You’ve got to have something to look forward to — one way or the other, I’m getting laid tonight.
Ugly asexual waiter: I know what you mean — I’m going to have breakfast food for dinner.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Coworker: I knocked up the printer.
West Lafayette, Indiana
Co-worker: Oh, there’s my stapler! I was looking for it.
Boss: Actually it’s my stapler. I own this company; everything here is mine. I’m just letting you keep it at your desk.
1718 Villa Avenue
Indianapolis, Indiana
Man at music counter: Do you happen to have ‘The Wreck of the F. Scott Fitzgerald’?
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Bearphan
Grunt #1: I figured out the perfect way to get the TV remote from my wife late at night.
Grunt #2: Yeah?
Grunt #1: I act horny. She’d rather give up the TV than give up the ass.
46 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Woman #1: Oh, look at the pretty rock!
Woman #2: Um… that’s part of a blueberry muffin.
Woman #1: Oh.
Monument Circle
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Gitcher Eyes Checked
Woman: My sister got out of rehab on Tuesday and died of an overdose on Friday, and I just got the rehab bill in the mail.
Friend: I’d tell thems to stick ‘at bill up they asses — that shit didn’t work! It’s like gettin’ a bad weave! You don’t pay fo’ no bad weaves, does you?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Co-Worker: I spilled my milk this morning and my husband was like, "Don’t cry over spilled milk." He’s always saying funny things like that.
Carmel, Indiana
Older woman: It isn’t good for your metabolism to eat too little.
Younger woman: Yeah, I remember when I was a kid and saw those starving African kids on TV. I said, “They aren’t fat, look at their bellies!” That’s what happens when you don’t eat enough, you get bloated.
1500 University Drive
Billings, Montana
Co-worker #1: Do you want to go to lunch?
Co-worker #2: I’m on a diet.
Co-worker #1: But we’re going to get ice cream afterward.
800 E. 96th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Co-worker on phone: …So if that wasn’t enough, she signs the email
“LOL”. Now you can’t tell me that wasn’t completely obnoxious…Yeah. Lots of luck…Oh. But, still…
1236 Shannon Avenue
Indianapolis, Indiana
