Driver: I need to go home. There’s been an emergency.
Dispatcher: Oh! What happened?
Driver: Oh, my dad croaked, and I need to get maintenance on my truck. No biggie.
Dispatcher: Uh, okay.
7253 Western Select Drive
Indianapolis, Indiana
Driver: I need to go home. There’s been an emergency.
Dispatcher: Oh! What happened?
Driver: Oh, my dad croaked, and I need to get maintenance on my truck. No biggie.
Dispatcher: Uh, okay.
7253 Western Select Drive
Indianapolis, Indiana
Host: Well, I think that’s going to be September 11th. Check the calendar.
Computer tech: September 11th? Isn’t that something important? Oh, that’s Labor Day, right?
Host: 9-11.
Computer tech, looking clueless: Ohhh. Well, okay.
421 NW Riverside Drive
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: Amanda
Manager: We’re going to have to let you go.
Employee: I didn’t do nothin’!
Manager: I personally caught you defecating into the employee bathroom sink.
Employee: The toilet was filthy!
95 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Straight server: The new chef looks like Philip Michael Thomas.
Queer server: Oooh! I’d fuck him with his chef hat on!
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Office drone #1: Last week I was on MySpace, and I dropped my old high school girlfriend a line. Would you see this as being friendly or creepy?
Office drone #2: Well, did you search specifically for her?
Office drone #1: No, I seriously just happened across her through my high school’s page, but unbeknownst to me she had just recently set up her account. I’m just freaked out that it looks like I’ve been trolling the internet waters waiting for her to surface and then, bam! Ten years ago that would have been the case, but not now.
Liberty Drive
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: giselle
Coworker #1 to 20-something coworker: I will boss you. I'm old enough to be your mother, and I will boss you.
Coworker #2, joining in: And I'm old enough to be your grandmother.
Coworker #1: And we will box your ears together.
(a few minutes later)
Coworker #1: Someday you're going to get married, so you might as well get used to being bossed around.
West Lafayette, Indiana
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Paralegal to secretary: He just gave me the finger!
Secretary: What?
Lawyer: I did it creatively.
Secretary: I'm pretty sure that makes you the worst boss ever.
Lawyer: But she was annoying me!
Tall Building
Small City, Indiana
Overheard by: Does someone need a time out?
CFO: Fourth floor is going to Hooters. I don’t like Hooters. I like Dick’s.
1 North Meridian Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Peon
Grunt #1: How you doin’ today, Paul*?
Grunt #2: Flying. Flying high today.
Grunt #1: Too many pills?
Grunt #2: Yep. They make you pee.
North Meridian Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Coworker: I had a bad experience with a potato gun.
Carmel, Indiana
Overheard by: Kairow
