Little girl, pointing to ad poster: Dog!
Father, looking at the ad: No, honey, that’s Ellen Degeneres.
Target Shopping Center
Avon, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Cube dweller to coworker: Dude, that diamond was flawless–it was anatomically correct.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Tester: Dude, did you see this? There’s a button in the software that says “Fuck Off.”
Designer: So?…That’s a feature. Did you press it?
Tester: Yeah…it just went away.
Designer: And did it make you feel better?
Tester: Strangely, yeah. Yeah, it did.
Designer: See?
211 Van Buren Street
Nashville, Indiana
Overheard by: Scott
New intern taking tour of company warehouse: So, you said that we have a lifetime guarantee on all the clothes that we send out?
Warehouse manager: Oh, yeah, we guarantee all our merchandise. We’ll even return underwear that’s been soiled.
Plainfield, Indiana
Manager on phone: Is Andy* there? (pause) Well, when he gets back, tell him if he schedules an interview when he's not here again, I'll break his legs. (pause) Yeah, you have a good day. (hangs up)
West Lafayette, Indiana
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Woman: Oh, I want the baby. I just don’t want the pregnancy. If I could just go to a fast food place and order a baby, I would.
4910 16th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Manager #1: Shit! I can’t remember what I wanted to ask Al*…
Manager #2: If he’s gay? If he’s doing coke?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Manager at employee bathroom: Why is this door propped open?
Waiter: Eric* just dropped a bomb in there.
Manager: Fuck, man, spray that air freshener.
Waiter: I did. The stink actually laughed at me.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Co-worker #1: Hey! Stop calling me psycho!
Co-worker #2: Sorry sir, I didn’t know you could read my thoughts.
401 NW 4th Street
Evansville, Indiana
