Coworker: Hey, Paul*, my daughter just learned to say ‘Thank you’ in Chinese.
Paul: That’s great. Sounds like a smart kid.
Coworker: Yeah! I think I’m gonna tell Amy*.
Paul: Amy’s Korean
Coworker: Isn’t it the same thing?
1234 Brookdale Drive
Glendale Heights, Illinois
Engineer on phone: Even skanky girls need love too. And I'm single, so I do my part to help.
Grayslake, Illinois
Young female coworker #1: Oh, so I guess there's a criminal on the loose in Arlington Heights.
Older female coworker: Better not leave any little dogs out.
Young female coworker #2: What?
Young female coworker #1: Oh, he might take 'em. He even looks like a criminal.
Older female coworker: Wait, you said “cougar,” right?
Young female coworker #2: Why would a cougar want a little dog?
Young female coworker #1: I said “criminal”!
Young female coworker #2: Oh, you mean the animal, not a woman!
(they laugh)
Young female coworker #1: Wow, that was the most misinterpreted conversation ever!
Older female coworker: Three way!!
Young female coworker #1: Again… Wow!
Oakbrook Terrace, Illinois
Overheard by: Dying in a Cubicle
Analyst #1: I pooped next to the CEO today.
Analyst #2: Like, in his office?
1 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Paul
Manager: Excuse me, sir, do you have me on speakerphone?
Guy: No, you have me on speakerphone!
Manager: Oh, look at that. Sorry, this is a bad connection — are you on a cell phone?
Guy: Yes, you called my cell phone.
Manager: Oh, right. Do you have a desk phone I can call?
Guy: No, you called my cell because I am not in the office. Now, what do you want?!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Is He Serious?
Employee #1: I wouldn’t eat caviar. That’s fish eggs!
Employee #2: I’d try it…after all, I eat chicken eggs.
Employee #3: You eat chicken eggs?…Oh.
6525 N. Sheridan Road
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker: What’s it gonna take to get you to eat this sausage?
Merchandise Mart
Chicago, Illinois
Company trainer, hearing temp just dropped her phone in a flushing toilet: Let's take a break… Let's go outside and discuss this.
Rock Island, Illinois
Overheard by: Ian
Boss: Have you seen Tina today?
Loudmouth: Yeah, at 1 am, passed out in the shrubbery!
DeKalb, Illinois
Overheard by: also hungover
