Part-time receptionist: This is why people should have more arms.
Naperville, Illinois
Overheard by: Ready to go home
Part-time receptionist: This is why people should have more arms.
Naperville, Illinois
Overheard by: Ready to go home
Co-worker #1: Are you okay?
Co-worker #2: I’m okay. But if I could slap people through the phone, others wouldn’t be okay.
515 North State Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Peter Gibbons
Policewoman: Right. So then I had to search her, and I found a crack pipe shoved somewhere that a crack pipe should never be shoved. So I entered it in the log, and then I threw it into the garbage. Then she said, ‘No, you can’t throw it out. That’s my best one! I’ll never get another one like it!’
Mother: Oh my god, honey, how nasty! I don’t like you working in situations like this.
Policewoman: Well, but my point is this: of course she’ll get it back. Soon as I release her, she’ll just go digging in the trash and find it, and shove it right back where I found it.
Belmont Avenue and Sheridan Road
Chicago, Illinois
Suit: We need that information RSVP.
Minion: Uh, ASAP?
Suit: I don’t think so.
Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Joe
Junior art director: Hey, what month is eleven?
Chicago, Illinois
Broker #1: Okay, here's one: would you rather lick the bulge on Jimmy's leg or eat the skin that Richard peeled off his foot last year?
Broker #2: As sick as this sounds, I'd take Jimmy's bulge in a second. I had to sit next to Richard. His foot had a crack in it so deep you could stick a pencil in it.
Chicago, Illinois
Office drone to coworker: She had a very busy weekend, but what she was most excited about was the sausage party!
Chicago, Illinois
Employee #1: I don’t know how you got a better review than you did last year.
Employee #2: Yeah, me either.
Employee #1: You know, I really only get about 50% out of you each day.
Employee #2: Yeah, that sounds about right. Some days more, some days less. Usually less.
Employee #1: Wouldn’t it be great if I got that 100% out of you, though?
Employee #2: Probably, but I really just don’t feel like it.
901 Warrenville Road
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Recovering Workaholic
File clerk: So do the Summer Olympics happen every… eight years?
Law clerk: Um, four years.
File clerk: I'm taking this quiz. Is Canada in South America?
Law clerk: North America.
Law Office
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Perplexed
Co-worker #1: Have you ever been to Greece?
Co-worker #2: Yup.
Co-worker #1: Did you go see ruins of Pantheos?
Co-worker #2: You mean, “the Parthenon?”
Co-worker #1: Yeah, that’s it! Aw man, today I’ve got…what’s that called?
Co-worker #2: Stupid?
Co-worker #1: Ha, ha. Very funny. No…oh! Mind dyslexia!
Co-worker #2: As opposed to body dyslexia?
216 W. Jackson Boulevard
Chicago, Illinois
