And Flicking Them at Another Toddler

Policewoman: Right. So then I had to search her, and I found a crack pipe shoved somewhere that a crack pipe should never be shoved. So I entered it in the log, and then I threw it into the garbage. Then she said, ‘No, you can’t throw it out. That’s my best one! I’ll never get another one like it!’
Mother: Oh my god, honey, how nasty! I don’t like you working in situations like this.
Policewoman: Well, but my point is this: of course she’ll get it back. Soon as I release her, she’ll just go digging in the trash and find it, and shove it right back where I found it.

Belmont Avenue and Sheridan Road
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on January 1, 2021
Cops, Gossip, Illinois

If It’s Not Coming, We Need to Know

Suit: We need that information RSVP.
Minion: Uh, ASAP?
Suit: I don’t think so.

Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Joe

Posted on December 22, 2020
General Idiocy, Illinois, Suits

Is February the One with Only Ten?

Junior art director: Hey, what month is eleven?

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on December 19, 2020
Default, Designers and Photographers, General Idiocy, Illinois, Questions

Anyway, I Already Ate Richard's Foot Skin

Broker #1: Okay, here's one: would you rather lick the bulge on Jimmy's leg or eat the skin that Richard peeled off his foot last year?
Broker #2: As sick as this sounds, I'd take Jimmy's bulge in a second. I had to sit next to Richard. His foot had a crack in it so deep you could stick a pencil in it.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on November 20, 2020
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Weirdness

And I Didn't Even Know She Smoked!

Office drone to coworker: She had a very busy weekend, but what she was most excited about was the sausage party!

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on November 14, 2020
Body Parts, Coworkers, Holidays, Illinois, Meals and Snacks, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Weirdness