Broker #1: I’m getting a divorce.
Broker #2: No way, man. You’re lying.
Broker #1, sadly: I wouldn’t lie about that.
Broker #2: Oh, now, you’re just saying that to make me jealous.
30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Broker #1: I’m getting a divorce.
Broker #2: No way, man. You’re lying.
Broker #1, sadly: I wouldn’t lie about that.
Broker #2: Oh, now, you’re just saying that to make me jealous.
30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Female coworker: (makes kissing noises while hovering over male coworker's neck)
Male recipient: See? I had a wart there. Now, gone!
The Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Office Ninja
Photo person cleaning out pump nozzle of green hand sanitizer: This is just like picking boogers out of a toddler!
Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois
Angry boss: Aristotle is not Belgian!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
Male coworker: I don't understand gentrification. I'm from Idaho.
Chicago, Illinois
Part-time receptionist: This is why people should have more arms.
Naperville, Illinois
Overheard by: Ready to go home
Co-worker #1: Are you okay?
Co-worker #2: I’m okay. But if I could slap people through the phone, others wouldn’t be okay.
515 North State Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Peter Gibbons
Policewoman: Right. So then I had to search her, and I found a crack pipe shoved somewhere that a crack pipe should never be shoved. So I entered it in the log, and then I threw it into the garbage. Then she said, ‘No, you can’t throw it out. That’s my best one! I’ll never get another one like it!’
Mother: Oh my god, honey, how nasty! I don’t like you working in situations like this.
Policewoman: Well, but my point is this: of course she’ll get it back. Soon as I release her, she’ll just go digging in the trash and find it, and shove it right back where I found it.
Belmont Avenue and Sheridan Road
Chicago, Illinois
Suit: We need that information RSVP.
Minion: Uh, ASAP?
Suit: I don’t think so.
Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Joe
Junior art director: Hey, what month is eleven?
Chicago, Illinois
