Company president: I'm going to take a dump… a special dump.
Kenilworth, New Jersey
Overheard by: Special Employee
Company president: I'm going to take a dump… a special dump.
Kenilworth, New Jersey
Overheard by: Special Employee
Manager: I think I need a replacement or a cleaning.
Ridge, New York
Cube #1: Uh, what's shingles?
Cube #2: It's like chicken pox.
Cube #3: Thank god I got chicken pox as a kid! I don't want no shingles!
Washington, DC
Employee to coworker: Hey, do you have Bieber fever? Because if you do, you should take a sick day… I don't wanna catch it.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: There's a shot for that…
Female coworker #1: How did your dental surgery go?
Female coworker #2: I'm okay. A little sore.
Female coworker #1: Do you want some Vicodin? I have some in my top drawer. I'm more than happy to share the wealth!
Norwalk, Connecticut
Office drone, after colleague reacts in disgust to his loud burping: Don't be a hater.
Louisville, Kentucky
CSR, about cleaning off his snow-covered car: I took care of myself at lunch.
Bedford, Massachusetts
Dental hygienist to patient in nearby room: You should stop taking your dog's medicine. The dog might need it someday.
Manhattan, New York
Managing editor to editor: The healthy one fell into the river, and the dead one scraped the side of the house.
Bennington, Vermont
Overheard by: proscriptus
Guy, while shopping: Naw, dude, the chainsaw really didn't go all that deep. It really didn't even hurt when it went in. My hand is healing up fine.
Jackson, Mississippi
