Longtime standing employee: You've used up all your mulligans.
Temp employee: What do you mean? Today? This week?
Longtime standing employee: For the remainder of your stay.
Escondido, California
Overheard by: Mike G
Longtime standing employee: You've used up all your mulligans.
Temp employee: What do you mean? Today? This week?
Longtime standing employee: For the remainder of your stay.
Escondido, California
Overheard by: Mike G
Coworker #1: The shit's gonna hit the fan! (group laughter)
Coworker #2: You know, I've actually seen that.
(group pause)
Coworker #1: You see, I used to work on a dairy farm…
Dean's Office, Boston College
Boston, Massachusetts
Cubicle guy #1: So your sister had surgery?
Cubicle guy #2: Yeah, she had a hysterectomy.
Cubicle guy #1: Oh, wow, so she don't want more kids.
Cubicle guy #2: Well, she had a c-section with the last one and there was so much scar tissue in her uterus that she was having never-ending periods and just bleeding for months on end. She said she was not doing anything but bleeding and passing golf ball-sized clots and ruining her furniture, clothes, sheets. She was tired of having really bloody periods.
Cubicle guy #1: Oh.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Rachael
Company president: I'm going to take a dump… a special dump.
Kenilworth, New Jersey
Overheard by: Special Employee
Manager: I think I need a replacement or a cleaning.
Ridge, New York
Cube #1: Uh, what's shingles?
Cube #2: It's like chicken pox.
Cube #3: Thank god I got chicken pox as a kid! I don't want no shingles!
Washington, DC
Employee to coworker: Hey, do you have Bieber fever? Because if you do, you should take a sick day… I don't wanna catch it.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: There's a shot for that…
Female coworker #1: How did your dental surgery go?
Female coworker #2: I'm okay. A little sore.
Female coworker #1: Do you want some Vicodin? I have some in my top drawer. I'm more than happy to share the wealth!
Norwalk, Connecticut
Office drone, after colleague reacts in disgust to his loud burping: Don't be a hater.
Louisville, Kentucky
CSR, about cleaning off his snow-covered car: I took care of myself at lunch.
Bedford, Massachusetts
