US suit: …a dedicated router.
UK suit #1: I’m sorry to interrupt, but it’s actually “roo-ter”.
US suit: A rooter is a swine. If you’re going to be in America, speak English.
UK suit #2: Two hundred years, and they still haven’t gotten it yet!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Project Manager: Wegman’s was voted the #1 company to work for in America.
Sales VP: Really?
Project Manager: Yeah. Do you know what their slogan is? “Employees first, customers second.”
Engineer: Well, we’ve been putting customers second for years!
Sales VP: Actually it’s customers second, employees third, and we don’t know what the first is.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Big Shot: Well, damn, the printer really is low on toner. I’m not gonna strain my eyes to read this junk. Now I have to reprint the whole document. Guess that’s my reward for trying to take work home over the weekend!
Peon: So, do you want me to recycle the faded pages?
Big Shot: What? No, just toss it.
3301 Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Employee #1: There’s a double standard around here.
Employee #2: What do you mean?
Employee #1: We all compete at an Olympic level while she competes in the Special Olympics and gets paid more.
3301 Gun Club Road
West Palm Beach, Florida
Operations Manager: You don’t like peanut butter? You’ve just blasphemed in my office!
10 Universal City Plaza
Universal City, California
Overheard by: Timbleweed
In respose to several of our wholesale customers reporting strong on-line sales in December; Boss: We do all the work and they make all the money? We have a website too and it’s time we started reminding these people of that! We need to be making a hell of a lot more money areound here than we are now. Time to start firing a few of these so-called “Top Customers”. That’ll fucking show ’em who’s boss!
800 Boylston Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Attorney: Jesus, why do they keep hiring from the Gnome and Troll Temp Agency?
550 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Girl DJ: That’s just what this office needs: more video gambling!
2514 S. College Street
Auburn, Alabama
Overheard by: Brooke Myers
Girl: This whole thing is such a tragedy.
Guy: I know, I actually have some old friends there that survived, luckily.
Girl: Where is Tsunami, anyways?
21 Spectrum Pointe
Lake Forest, California
Overheard by: Brandon Walter
Trend Consultant: We wanted our department memo to be With Funding, We Can Do Anything, but we couldn’t afford that.
20 River Terrace
New York, NY
