Guy #1: I can’t believe he did that in public; did you see the way he was looking at her?
Guy #2: Yeah, and it wasn’t the first time either.
Guy #1: She can’t be any older than 15.
Guy #2: It’s sick, but you know what really creeps me out? He’s always wearing wrinkly shirts. You’d think the man has never heard of an iron…
Guy #1: You can do anything you want with that MD after your name, I guess.
Guy #2: Word.
275 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Justin Laman
Co-worker: Avoid the bathroom in about an hour, you-know-who just sat down to eat some pea soup.
1 International Plaza
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: courtesy flush
Co-worker #1: Whenever you pass by there’s never anyone in there.
Co-worker #2: It’s probably a Front.
Co-worker #1: It is a front; there’s a fight club going on in the back room.
Co-worker #3: I know a guy that works at one of those.
Co-worker #1: He works at a fight club?
685 Cathcart Street
Montreal, Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: Timmy O’ Toole
Co-worker: That new guy is really dumb.
Speakerphone: Well it is fun watching him.
Co-worker: It’s like watching a cat shoveling shit with two broken paws.
8400 36th Street
Miami, Florida
Lady #1: You know, I think we just need to go over there and just bomb the shit out of them.
Lady #2: Without warning?
Lady #1: Fuck that shit. No warning, just bomb it to pieces.
Lady #2: You know, I used to think we should protect the women and children, but they’re just as bad! They do all the dirty work for them.
Lady #1: I agree with you 100%. All the kids have guns there, anyway.
Lady #2: Totally. They all have guns.
80 South 8th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Mail guy #1: He said he smoked crack at work?
Mail guy #2: Yeah.
Mail guy #1: How did he do that?
Mail guy #2: He said he did it in the bathroom.
Mail guy #1: But how?
Mail guy #2: How?
Mail guy #1: Yeah. He has to walk past about 2 guards to get in the building. Those people are trained to smell shit and they know if you’re coming in here dirty.
281 Tresser Boulevard
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Brenda Fate
Senior staff: She used to be, like, a little bit crazy, but now she’s really crazy.
11 West 53 Street
New York, NY
Teacher: There are a lot of hipsters there, but they’re older.
Teaching coordinator: Oh, let’s be honest. Those aren’t hipsters.
They’re hobos.
Royce Hall
University of California, Los Angeles
Los Angeles, CA
Worker #1: Jane* is leaving. Not to a different job, just to figure stuff out.
Worker #2: I wonder where she's going…
Worker #3: Well, she could move. She has no family. No kids. No husband or partner.
Worker #4: Oh, then maybe she's just going to go kill herself.
Worker #1: I think she just saw Eat Pray Love.
Worker #2: Are you guys being sarcastic?
Reston, Virginia
Employee #1: This old fart is so devious and evil that if you lock him up alone in the room he would curse his own self.
Employee #2: Shit, if he was the only person left on this earth he would start building conspiracies with his own balls, trying to antagonize his lefty against the righty.
Winchester, Virginia
