Designer: … And we still have to buy legs for the twins.
111 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
Designer: … And we still have to buy legs for the twins.
111 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
Salesperson: I’m having problems with my unit.
Accountant: What?
Salesperson: Yeah. When I put it in my ear, it whistles.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Secretary: Why would she take a gun with her to the parking garage? … This is good news!
111 Huntington Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: intern
Employee #1: Who’s that new blonde girl that works here?
Employee #2: Which new blonde girl? That doesn’t narrow it down.
Employee #1: You know, the… the slow one. She sounds kind of retarded when she talks.
Employee #2: Kelly*? She’s not retarded, you jerk — she’s from Sweden. English isn’t her first language.
Boston Post Road
Sudbury, Massachusetts
Overheard by: slurific
Customer #1: So, is Gary* out yet?
Customer #2: Oh, no — his sentencing isn’t until Tuesday.
Customer #1: Oh, okay. How’s Colleen* handling it?
Customer #2: Well, they are going to get married before then, so I guess great.
Ketchikan, Alaska
Agent: We used to play this drinking game when I was twnety. They still have it now. What was that called? President? Mr. President? Oh, yeah! ‘Asshole’!
2661 Riva Road
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Just the Receptionist
Office guy: I mean, I wouldn’t wish death on anyone, but if we came back from break and she died… I’d be secretly happy.
Office girl: Yeah. Like, if I had to choose someone in the office to die–
Office guy: –It would be her.
Office girl: Totally.
Office guy: Anyway, have a lovely Christmas!
Office girl: You, too! Happy holidays!
Melbourne
Australia
Single coworker: I tell ya — sex with crazy girls is great!
Sierra Vista, Arizona
Overheard by: Damn psychopharmaceuticals…
IT guy #1: Yeah, it’s my grandmother’s one hundredth birthday next March.
IT guy #2: Wow, really?
IT guy #1: Yup. I’m going to send her a strip-o-gram.
7th street and 7th Avenue
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Worker #1: This information she sent me isn’t right at all. It says ‘GMT,’ but there’s too many time zones.
Worker #2: GMT is General Mountain Time.
Worker #1: I know that already. I’m going to call her now to show her how wrong she is.
Worker #3: Get off the phone before you make an ass of yourself. Didn’t either of you ever hear of Greenwich Mean Time?
Worker #2: I guess we’re not as sophisticated as you.
Worker #3: Sophisticated? Most grade schoolers know that.
Worker #1, hanging up phone: You remind me of my ex.
Worker #3: If he had to put up with nonsense like that, I understand why he left.
Worker #1: I left him; he didn’t leave me.
Worker #3: Is he grateful for this?
Worker #1: You make me sick.
Worker #3: Was it something I said?
500 West Cummings Park
Woburn, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Charlise
