Guy #1: How was your weekend?
Guy #2: Good. I ran some errands. I got my car waxed and sodomized.
33 Maiden Lane
New York, NY
Guy #1: How was your weekend?
Guy #2: Good. I ran some errands. I got my car waxed and sodomized.
33 Maiden Lane
New York, NY
Salesgirl: How was your first trip to New York? Have a good time?
Salesman: Oh my god, it was awesome! All the restaurants we went to were amazing! So expensive, though.
Salesgirl: Yeah, Manhattan's pretty pricey.
Salesman: Yeah. (pause). I think the restaurants are expensive because they have to import all their supplies onto the island.
Studio City, California
Overheard by: goofopet
Boss: So, what do you like about working here?
Employee: Well, I really like that working here, you have your hands on the pulse of campus.
Boss: I'm sorry, did you say “the balls of campus”?
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Didshereallythinkshesaidthat?
Customer: I know you wouldn’t carry Jell-O, but do you have something exactly like it but called something else?
Whole Foods
Silver Spring, Maryland
Co-worker #1: Also I watched [Ernest] get into basically a penis-measuring contest with his roommate.
Co-worker #2: Over what?
Co-worker #1: Well…who was the fittest, and about who makes more hourly.
Co-worker #2: Who won?
Co-worker #1: In two weeks they’re going to have a run around Greenlake, and [Anthony] says in a couple of months he’ll make more hourly again.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Worker bee: Is the meeting in room 1 finished?
Peon: I don't know, is anyone in there?
Worker bee: No, it's empty.
Peon: Then the meeting's probably finished.
Bristol
England
Overheard by: Stephanie
Intern: They didn’t have Guinness, so we had pure Jameson and Bailey shots.
Manager: Oh, well.
Intern: Laced with something else.
Associate: PCP?
Intern: Who knows?
Manager: Could it have been PCP?
Intern: It tasted awfully sweet.
10 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Dude: If you really want to save money on gas then you should get a hybrid car.
Chick: Hybrid? Does that mean it runs on electricity?
Dude: Uh…yeah
Chick: Well what happens when the sun goes down?
317 West Main Cross Street
Findlay, Ohio
Overheard by: Crut
Office peon: How many wheels does an 18-wheeler have?
Boss: Let me see your résumé again.
1212 Klockner Road
Gordonsville, Virginia
Overheard by: the office linebacker
Female employee #1: …so if the sun exploded seven minutes ago, we wouldn’t know it yet, because it takes eight minutes for the sun’s light to reach us.
Male employee: That’s depressing! What would you do in those seven minutes?
Female employee #1: If I were at work? Have sex.
Male employee: Isn’t that’s a lot of pressure on the guy?
Female employee #1: Please. Guys are usually all, “Gimme two minutes!”
Female employee #2: You could do three guys in that time!
Female employee #1: Three and a half!
Boulevard Sacré Coeur
Gatineau, Quebec
Overheard by: Sara
