Boss: Tara, there is a big stack of Christmas cards on your chair. Please put stamps on each one and make sure they are exactly a quarter inch from both the side and the top of the envelope.
Tara, to coworker: Can you bring a ruler over here? I need to put stamps on the Christmas cards.
Old Town
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Glad I'm not the new girl
Engineer: Ah, crap.
Secretary: Whatsamatta?
Engineer: Printer’s giving me an error message.
Secretary: And what does it say?
Engineer: Tray two is empty..
Secretary: Well, then fill it. Reams are right next to it.
Engineer: Yeah, uh, well, which tray is tray two?
Secretary: Gee, I don’t know; maybe the one labeled “two”?
Engineer: Oh, that’s what those numbers mean?
One Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Coworker: Do you know how many inches are in a yard?
Receptionist: Whose yard?
El Segundo, California
Overheard by: Dave
Giftie #1: ‘Quixotic’ is so the best word you can make in Scrabble.
Giftie #2: It is not. The best is– Oooh! Ice cream truck!
Bayview and Eglinton Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Lady on phone: Let me ask you this: if she dies before the next payment is due, does she still have to make that payment?
Main Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: insensitive much?
Engineer: I have this weird beeping signal on my phone. Do I need to dial a 1 when calling this number?
Tech support guy takes the phone and hits redial.
Tech support guy: No. That is a busy signal.
5032 South Ash Avenue
Tempe, Arizona
Construction worker #1: So you know how I knew you were gay?
Construction worker #2: WHAT?
Construction worker #1: It’s cool, dude. But know how I knew?
Construction worker #2: [shakes head]Construction worker #1: When you started making out with me at happy hour last week.
Construction worker #2: Oh. Oh, yeah.
1670 Broadway
Denver, Colorado
Worker: So, what did the phone company says about the phone line?
Boss: I don't know. The robot pick up the phone! I hate talking to a robot, so I hung up.
Greenwich Village
Manhattan, New York
Co-worker #1: Did you know Tony in the German office is Oriental?
Co-worker #2: Asian.
Co-worker #1: What about Asians?
Co-worker #2: You don’t say “Oriental”…you say “Asian.”
Co-worker #1: Oh, that is so PC. Oriental is fine. I had an Oriental friend once and she didn’t mind it.
93 Worcester Street
Wellesley, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Scaught
Sales #1: So what do they get in the three piece table, lamp and mirror set?
Sales #2: You’re kidding, right?
Sales #1: No really, what do they get?
Sales #2: Idiot.
2500 South Rochester Road
Rochester Hills, Michigan
Overheard by: Jenny Schneider
