9 to 5-er: I’ve smelled burnt human, and it doesn’t smell like chicken.
Austin, Texas
9 to 5-er: I’ve smelled burnt human, and it doesn’t smell like chicken.
Austin, Texas
Employee: Thanks for calling iTransact, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I’d like to cancel my account, please.
Employee: No problem, sir. Can I have your name, please?
Customer: Yes, it’s ‘Frank.’ That’s ‘F’ as in ‘Frank,’ R-A-N-K.
Farmington, Utah
Postdoc: No, my landlord won’t allow two people living in the apartment.
Grad student: But it’s just your wife living with you.
Postdoc: Right.
Grad student: But wives don’t count as people!
Carl Icahn Laboratory
Princeton, New Jersey
Manager: What does the word “nugatory” mean?
Employee: I don’t know but it sounds important.
Manager: I’ll see if I can slip it into my next talk to staff, they won’t know the difference.
North Terrace
Adelaide, South Australia
Cubemate to another: You know, I am thinking and typing at the same time…
Jersey City, New Jersey
Coworker: What’s the deal with these lot loans?
Manager: Your mom’s a lot loan.
San Ramon, California
Overheard by: cracking up
Co-worker #1: You mean Napoleon Dynamite?
Co-worker #2: No, Napoleon Bonaparte.
Co-worker #1: Was he that explorer guy?
Co-worker #2: No, he was a French general…if you’ve ever heard the phrase “Napoleon complex” that’s where it comes from, because he was a short guy who thought he was the shit…
Co-worker #1: Oh…I’ve never heard of him.
Co-worker #2: How’s that IU education working out for you?
3699 West Lathrop
South Bend, Indiana
Boss: You know those people from Saudi Arabia?
Assistant: Yes.
Boss: Are they Iranians?
Franklin Avenue
New York, New York
CSR to friend: So apparently my lymphedema makes me more likely to get cancer in the future…
Boss, interrupting: That's a relief. Not that I'd wish cancer on you. More the fact that you're more likely to get it than me. I like that sort of news. We need more of that around here! (walks off).
CSR's friend: Here's HR's number.
Newcastle
England
Overheard by: Trying to hide
Yuppie mom on cell: I mean, I swear — America is turning into, like, old-school Russia. You know, with like, the Gazpacho running around killing people.
Whole Foods
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Deadly and Delicious
