Coworker: If you do it brainless, you end up with crappy data.
Sacramento, California
Coworker: If you do it brainless, you end up with crappy data.
Sacramento, California
Coworker at bar: Shit, a degree doesn't mean anything! I'm dumber than a box of rocks and I have a degree!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Secretary: Well, we’re going to Jersey for that meeting, so we could go to the Village Gourmet.
Engineer: Yeah, that was good the last time.
Surveyor: Doesn’t the guy that owns that one own another one too, right down the street from the Village Gourmet?
Secretary: Yeah, but it’s really expensive, everything’s a la carte.
Engineer: What does a la carte mean anyway?
Secretary: Dude, you’re 26 years old and you don’t know what a la fucking carte means?
Surveyor: Aren’t you French Canadian, too?
One Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: Melissa Miller
Cubicle guy: Man, you wanna hear something funny? My dry cleaner got shot today. What am I gonna do? I got dry cleaning to pick up!
Cubicle gal: What? Oh my god! That's horrible!
Cubicle guy: I know. But what am I gonna do about my dry cleaning? I can't just go over there and say like, “hey, sorry he got shot, but can I get my dry cleaning?”
Cubicle gal: Yeah–that wouldn't be good. Maybe you could wait a couple of days and then go pick it up. Besides, if you go today you might become a suspect.
Cubicle guy: Yeah, that's what I'll do… Good thing it's not a suit I need for the weekend.
Manhattan, New York
Boss: We’re trying to fit a round square into a peg hole.
53 West Jackson Boulevard
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Mark
Bimbette: Hey, remember the time we broke the toilet?
Blonde: Yeah, stuff like that happens to us.
Bimbette: I wonder what will happen to us next…
Blonde: Let’s have a threesome with someone famous!
Bimbette: With who?
Blonde: A Beatle… John Lennon?
Bimbette: Duh, he’s in America!
Blonde: Duh, he’s dead!
Bimbette: Yeah, but he’s still in America.
St. Kilda Road
Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: Same Cubicle, Different Pair
Office lady #1: It’s so cold in here. Oooh! The hair on my arm is sticking up — I didn’t even know I had hair.
Office lady #2: Of course you do! You’re a mammal…
Office lady #1: No, I’m Chinese! Oriental!
Male coworker: I have got to write this down.
185 Cambridge Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Associate: It's my birthday today!
Receptionist: Oh, it's my little sister's birthday too, she's turning one.
Associate: Oh, that's cute. Is she your mum's first child?
Sydney
Australia
Intern: Where’s will-call? I have to drop off tickets.
Security dude: Will Call? Who’s that? [Calls manager over]
Manager chick: You’re looking for Will?
662 6th Avenue
New York, NY
Girl caller: Hi, I want to report a woman lying facedown in the road.
Police receptionist: What does she look like?
Rosemead, California
