Florida

President: You can ask them for it, but technically, when it comes to that, we would no longer be partners, but competitors.
Intern: So it's like we're in a dysfunctional marriage with them? Like love/hate?
President: It's more like they're a bitch and it's the wrong time of the month.

Tampa, Florida

Cleanup worker: How many days have I been to work on time?
Supervisor: 136 days straight.
Cleanup worker: Gosh, I’m halfway to breaking my old record of 189.

613 Harrison Avenue
Panama City, Florida

PC tech: How’s your wife?
Printer tech: Pretty good. I tried to give her a massage last night, but she said that I couldn’t.
PC tech: Why? My girl loves massages.
Printer tech: She said that I’ll just end up filling up a hole, and she wasn’t in the mood.

West Palm Beach, Florida

General manager to production supervisor: You really need to come by my house after work and smell my microwave.

Dade City, Florida

Overheard by: Skip

Coworker to another: Give him he meat. That's what he wants.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Dina

Employee: Do we have to wear our new name tags when we go to the bathroom?

Florida

Employee to coworker who won't stop talking: Oh, yeah, you get all mouthy now. But when the auditors come by, you get quiet and have diarrhea.

Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: factory drone

Lady: Where do skidmarks come from?
Guy: I don’t know, but in the evening when I undress, there they are.

5400 West Sample Road
Margate, Florida

Receptionist: You guys.
Co-worker #1: How old are you today?
Co-worker #2: Hell, if her skin is anything like the rings of a tree…
Office: …
Co-worker #2: What?

1490 Francis Drive
Daytona Beach, Florida

Nurse: Why can’t we just put the hair on the pancreas?

Medical office
Jacksonville, Florida

Overheard by: So Glad I Work Here