As R.E.M. Can Testify

Girl: I love your shiny yellow balls.
Guy, laughing: Context is everything.

Seattle, Washington

No Shit?

Teacher to assistant, while kids run around screaming: This day is going like my bowel movements: not at all.

Tokyo
Japan

Colleague on phone: No, no, no. No! I'm gonna ask you, like Tina Turner asked Ike: What's love got to do with this, baby?

Fordham University
New York

HR employee, eating jelly beans: I've segregated out the black ones because they're gross.

Marlborough, Massachusetts

Slick young professional woman, deadpan: I've said so many horrible things about him, it will be nice to finally meet him in person.

Harlem, New York

Cube-dweller to manager: Jeez, Daniel*, you would have killed me! Except I would never have owned up to it, but I can now, coz I didn't do it…

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: confused but amused

Straight CTO, about strange meeting attendee who just left: I can't stop thinking about that guy.
CEO: A bit smitten, are we?

Science Park
Hong Kong

Student to friends: Ginger people are just… weird.

Ludlow
England

Overheard by: jonty bonty

Shabbily dressed Jewish loan officer: Who? That Nazi Mel Gibson? I hate that Nazi! I'll kill him!

Southfield, Michigan

Female sales rep to group: I hated them because they were hard, but hers were always nice and soft.

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner