Reporter: I wasn't drinking because I was depressed; I was partying so I could feel young.
Mesa, Arizona
Reporter: I wasn't drinking because I was depressed; I was partying so I could feel young.
Mesa, Arizona
PETCO employee: All of the employees here love the wee wee pads. We use them all the time!
PETCO
San Rafael, California
Overheard by: Housetrained
Boss: Because Mike played that song so damn much. He had such a man crush on Justin. (pause) Yeah, but you're not a man. (pause) You're not a little, tiny man who looks like Harry Potter.
Woodinville, Washington
Secretary on phone: How am I? I'm finer than a frog's hair split four ways.
(pause) I *said* I'm… finer… than… a… frog's… hair… split… four… ways.
(pause) It means I'm miserable!
Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, Virginia
Adorable PA: Seriously, though, maybe you need a good, physically visible Eros love influence in your life. I learn by rubbing off on people. Maybe you do too?
Newark, New Jersey
Coworker #1: I feel as though I had a one night stand with this muffin. I only took one bite.
Coworker #2: It's not your fault that it's not the type of person you call back.
Coworker #1: This muffin's a skank.
Coworker #2: I want to marry this bagel.
Chicago, Illinois
Manager: So, you’re back! How was your vacation?
Contractor: Well, I think I got a lot done.
Peon: That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard.
909 A Street
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Barnstable
Employee on phone: Hello, this is John*. (pause) No, I'm sorry, I can't help you with that. I kind of suck. (pause) Okay, thanks, bye!
Melville, New York
Sad girl: How would you like it if you boyfriend hit on another girl while his pregnant girlfriend stood next to him? It made me feel like a fat dog slut.
Macquarie Fields Station
Australia
Lady #1: I’ve always wanted to try the sales department.
Lady #2: Ever since I was little, I wanted to be a forest ranger.
Wall Street
New York City, New York
