Cube dweller #1: My cousin was in the hospital last week.
Cube dweller #2: Yeah? My brother was in the hospital last week. He had an operation to remove…ummm, something.
Cube dweller #1: What, his tonsils?
Cube dweller #2: No, it started with “p.”
Cube dweller #1: Oh, gawd, not his prostate?
Cube dweller #2: No… Oh, yeah. It was his pendix.
Tampa, Florida
Department manager to two employees in their 9th month of pregnancies: I simply cannot allow you two to take maternity leave at the same time.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lynn
Frazzled coworker who brought her kids to work for lunch: If you touch your sister again I'm going to break all of your fingers off.
Son: Awwww, but I need all my fingers!
Palm Desert, California
Loud mother, entering lingerie department holding hand of 11-year-old daughter: Can you tell me where your smallest training bras are? And I mean the smallest!
Chestnut Hill Macy's
Boston, Massachusetts
Office guy #1: So I heard that people in China are naming their kids after both parents, cause there are a lot of Wangs in china.
Office guy #2: Wow… That is a lot of Wang.
Toronto
Canadia
Male coworker to younger female coworker: Wanna babysit tonight so I can go out?
Female coworker: God no, why don't you have a list of teenagers? Where do you live?
Male coworker: All the teenagers are busy…I live in Kent.
Female coworker: Oh well…all the teenagers in Kent already have kids.
Male coworker: Good point.
Kent, Washington
Overheard by: Amy
Work bee, complaining about wife's: So I said, “Babe, we live in this country for two reasons, breakfast food and good toilet paper.”
Colorado
Overheard by: shaine
Woman: I CC'd my daughter on it and she wrote back. What grandma is trying to say is that you won't get through security dressed like that. But, apparently, the dog collar is already gone because he was allergic to it.
Alexandria, Virginia
Editor #1: Look at what my mom got me! A Chanel handbag!
Editor #2: Sigh. All my parents ever get me is jewelry!
Editor #1: Yeah, but this bag is really practical. It has pockets.
San Francisco, California
Coworker to pregnant CRS: So, are you excited to have your baby?
Pregnant CRS: Yeah…I guess…kinda nervous.
Coworker: Why are you nervous?
Pregnant CRS: Because once I have a baby, I'll always have a baby. Like, forever.
Salt Lake City, Utah
