I Dream That We Can All Talk That Way to Mgmt.

Former VP: I heard you were dreaming about me.
Executive Assistant: If the person gave you the impression that it was in a positive connotation, they were gravely mistaken.

1000 Voorhees Drive
Voorhees, New Jersey

Posted on July 14, 2014
Comebacks, Executives, Gripes, New Jersey, Receptionists

That’s About As Funny As I’d Expect a CEO to Get

VP: It’s not working. I can’t get it up. I can’t get it up.
CEO: They make a pill for that now, you know.

28 Crescent Street
Middletown, Connecticut

Posted on July 12, 2014
Comebacks, Connecticut, Executives, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Sexuality

Surely He Means The Da Vinci

Marketing exec: If we didn’t have to spend so much time telling you our requirements, you could be done with the code already!

228 East 86th Street
New York, NY

Posted on July 8, 2014
Dumb Bosses, Executives, General Idiocy, Gripes, New York, Technology

Overheard on the Radio

The creators of this site were just on The Brian Lehrer Show (listen here).

As the producer explained to the host who we were and what we’re about, she handed him some printouts of site quotes and ended with: …and don’t say fucktard, obviously.

1 Centre Street
New York, NY

Posted on July 7, 2014
Advice, Executives, Gripes, Insults, New York, Words

It's a Bloodbath Around Here Today

VP of operations, in meeting with IT, taking semi-important phone call: Hi, this is Ted*. (pause) Yeah. You know what, let me call you back, I'm in the middle of somebody right now.

Washington, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Server guy

Posted on July 1, 2011
Executives, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

Next: Toilet Paper, Over or Under?

VP, strolling into cube farm: Toasters or toaster ovens?
Staffer #1: Toasters.
Staffer #2: Toasters.
Staffer #3: Toaster ovens!
VP: Toasters, right? We already have a toaster oven.
Staffer #4: Definitely toasters.
Staffer #3: No, toaster ovens!
VP: Wait, I want to hear Alice*'s perspective here.
Staffer #3: Toaster ovens do more and they break less often!
Several other staffers: But toasters are faster!
Staffer #5: Boo!
Staffer #3: Never mind, I withdraw my comments. I'm being booed.
VP: Careful, or you'll get voted off the island!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Rose Fox