Boss describing an assistant who scheduled all the engineers in team: Kim has worked horizontally through the team.
Uxbridge
England
Overheard by: I'll get fired for this
Boss describing an assistant who scheduled all the engineers in team: Kim has worked horizontally through the team.
Uxbridge
England
Overheard by: I'll get fired for this
Receptionist: There's an engineer here to look at the phone lines.
Office girl: The phones are fine. Is it the line for the net?
Receptionist: She's not in.
Office girl: Er…who?
Receptionist: Annette.
Midlands
England
Overheard by: Al
Man in lift: How are you, Susan*?
Woman: Radiant, *Stuart.
Government Office
London
England
Coworker #1: I don’t have a wardrobe.
Coworker #2: Why not?
Coworker #1: I just don’t like them.
Coworker #2: Well, where do you keep your suit?
Coworker #1: Well… that’s a good question, where is actually my suit?
Yorkshire
England
Man on phone: What do you mean he’s not dead? I’ve bought his wife a card and put it through the door!
Leatherhead
Surrey
England
Overheard by: Bav
Caller: I need to know about courses on Saturday.
Bored operator: Which center would you like to go through to?
Caller: Yes, uh, Saturday courses. Nine o’clock ’til five o’clock.
Bored operator: Okay, which department?
Caller: Saturday — S-A-T–
Bored operator: —Which center? Clapham, Vauxhall, Brixton?
Caller: Uh, no, I want to know about Saturday courses. Saturday courses!
Bored operator: Do you have a contact name? … I’ll just put you through to someone, then. Bye!
College
London
England
Boss: The thing I love about Fiona* is that you’ll offer her a stick and she’ll immediately grab the wrong end.
Chislehurst, Kent
England
Overheard by: Bob Cat
Programmer: Does anyone want a free, almost clean keyboard?
Tech support peon: Not until you tell us what you just ‘almost cleaned’ off of it.
Programmer: Jeff*.
Tech support peon: Uhhh, no thanks.
Islington, London
England
Worker #1: She is too hot.
Worker #2: Do you want to touch her where she wees?
Worker #3: I want to touch her while she wees.
Norwich
England
