Manager to duty worker: Oh, and tell them we've got a few babies flying around so expect a call from us next week.
Sheffield
England
Manager to duty worker: Oh, and tell them we've got a few babies flying around so expect a call from us next week.
Sheffield
England
Puzzled IT worker holding tortilla in one hand and piece of raw cod in the other: So what you're saying is that this isn't sushi?
Coworker: It's not sushi.
IT worker: But it's raw fish!
Coworker: Well, sushi is a special kind of way of preparing it. That's just a piece of cod you bought from the fishmongers, wrapped in a tortilla.
IT worker: So… I shouldn't eat it?
Coworker: No… This is like the jam incident, isn't it?
IT worker: Fuck you! Jam is healthy–there's bloody fruit in it!
Coworker: And you wonder why you're single…
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Boss to employee: This is a “sorry you're leaving” card. But someone's written in it “happy birthday,” and someone else has written “congratulations on the engagement, and on the baby.”
Cambridge
England
Cube dweller #1: You know when you go to put your hand on it, and it's not there?
Cube dweller #2: I hate it when that happens…
Leeds
England
Annoyed shop assistant, after difficult customer has left: That guy is going straight on my enemies list.
Manager: One for the firing squad, eh?
Annoyed shop assistant: Blood in the streets…
Manager: Yeah, let's purge that son of a bitch.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Innocent secretary: I don't think that'll be big enough.
IT manager: I've never been told that before.
Hertfordshire
England
Overheard by: Sooz
Manager, over radio: Charley*, stop leaning against the wall. I can see you. Tara*, where are you going?
Supervisor, over radio: Stop it! You're scaring the girls, boss.
England
Female employee: I'm going to wear a handlebar mustache. For that androgynous look.
City Centre
Bristol
England
Blonde: Imagine if children were like plants. There'd be loads more children!
St Albans
England
Overheard by: Sooz
