Boss to employee: This is a “sorry you're leaving” card. But someone's written in it “happy birthday,” and someone else has written “congratulations on the engagement, and on the baby.”
Cambridge
England
Boss to employee: This is a “sorry you're leaving” card. But someone's written in it “happy birthday,” and someone else has written “congratulations on the engagement, and on the baby.”
Cambridge
England
Cube dweller #1: You know when you go to put your hand on it, and it's not there?
Cube dweller #2: I hate it when that happens…
Leeds
England
Annoyed shop assistant, after difficult customer has left: That guy is going straight on my enemies list.
Manager: One for the firing squad, eh?
Annoyed shop assistant: Blood in the streets…
Manager: Yeah, let's purge that son of a bitch.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Innocent secretary: I don't think that'll be big enough.
IT manager: I've never been told that before.
Hertfordshire
England
Overheard by: Sooz
Manager, over radio: Charley*, stop leaning against the wall. I can see you. Tara*, where are you going?
Supervisor, over radio: Stop it! You're scaring the girls, boss.
England
Female employee: I'm going to wear a handlebar mustache. For that androgynous look.
City Centre
Bristol
England
Blonde: Imagine if children were like plants. There'd be loads more children!
St Albans
England
Overheard by: Sooz
Manager: Why have we been doing so many refunds this week?
Coworker #1: Because our salespeople can't sell properly. They need to start asking customers simple questions, like, “Will this fit in your gap?”
(much sniggering from others)
Coworker #2: You can't ask people that!
Nottingham
England
Older Scottish woman: The poor wee lad's 21 now, but he's still got the mind of a child.
Geordie woman: Aye.
Older Scottish woman: Still doesn't stop her taking him to all the gay clubs, though.
Geordie woman: Aye.
Newcastle upon Tyne
England
Overheard by: Finance Mole
