Manager: Why do they send so much of this stock? It’s never gonna sell. What bunch of arseholes thought this up at head office?
Peon: This is really getting to you, isn’t it? I get the feeling you applied for a job there, and they turned you down.
Manager: A job at head office? No thanks, I’ve no desire to be an arsehole for a living.
Peon: But you’d be so good at it.
4 The Sidings
Lincoln, United Kingdom
Elderly female customer: I do miss my husband, you know? I had to have him cremated after he fell out of bed.
London
England
Overheard by: Badger
Colleague: We went on a day trip to Auschwitz but it’s not a very happy place.
15-19 Bloomsbury Way
London, England
Female teacher to male teacher: Aw, you're such a gentleman! When you die we're going to pickle you and put you in the corner and label you “the last gentleman.”
Arts and Humanities Dept
Bexhill College
England
Overheard by: Corinne
Gay co-worker, loudly, to visibly embarrassed girl who just received a large bunch of roses: Somebody swallowed last weekend!
Oakland House
Manchester
England
Overheard by: Tommy
Manager: Why don't people blink when they're asleep?
Solihull
England
Overheard by: Peon
Telemarketer: Hello, could I speak to Wally the Clown please?
(short pause)
Telemarketer: Oh, sorry to disturb you then. (to coworker) Dialed the wrong number!
Talbot Road
Manchester
England
Overheard by: Thomas
Tech support: Good morning, this is Steve* from technical support. I think that I have got to the problem of your bottom.
Slough
England
Tannoy: A pair of glasses has been found in the car park. If you have lost a pair, please come and pick them up from reception…if you can find the way.
Thames House
Thames Road, Crayford
England
Manager: “…I was forced to take a year off work to look after my sick mother. She’s dead now so problem over.”
33 Paradise Road
Richmond, Surrey
UK
