Engineer #1: Drew*, you’re having corned beef again?
Team leader: Yeah, I got a big piece of it and cooked it all at once.
Engineer #2: Did you get it at Costco? It’s real cheap there.
Team leader: Yeah, but the thing that sucks is it shrinks when you put it in the oven. You’re thinking you have a big piece of meat, and then you pull it out and you’re all disappointed.
Deer Park, Illinois
Overheard by: office peon/cubicle monkey
Engineer: I didn't say you're a good architect, but you're a very good guy.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: The_SuperVixen
Engineer: If I could get a 12-year-old for $10, I'd do it!
Orlando, Florida
Male engineer: Yeah, I've seen him around, in the hallways. Smoking out front.
Female engineer: He looks weird. Kind of like a really huge tall kid, kind of like a mongoose-camel hybrid.
Manhattan, New York
Engineer on phone with supplier: Well, I didn’t mean to cram Siemens down your throat.
5th Avenue
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Engineer #1: Guess who is going to be at the club I'm going to in Vegas?
Engineer #2: Snoop Dogg?
Engineer #1: No, Asia.
Engineer #2: Uh, isn't that a country?
Engineer #1: (blank stare)
FedEx Drive
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jamil
Manager to engineer: That'll cut our sales in half by at least 85%!
Batavia, Ohio
Engineer #1: ASCII porn?
Engineer #2: Yeah, it’s sweet.
1 Federal Street
Camden, New Jersey
Program Manager: Dude! You know that one tech writer, that one chick?
Engineer: Yeah, the older one? She’s a nice person.
Program Manager: Yeah, I know. Man, sometimes she gets like this massive camel-toe.
Engineer: Dude, you need whisper those kinds of things.
Program Manager: But man, you could measure it in inches! Oh shit, here she comes.
She walks by. The Program Manager follows her, turns around seconds later and gives the split finger sign.
41311 Vincenti Court
Novi, Michigan
Project Manager: Wegman’s was voted the #1 company to work for in America.
Sales VP: Really?
Project Manager: Yeah. Do you know what their slogan is? “Employees first, customers second.”
Engineer: Well, we’ve been putting customers second for years!
Sales VP: Actually it’s customers second, employees third, and we don’t know what the first is.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
