Employees

Assistant: There are bears in the hall again. Do you want me to bag them?

Ft.Lauderdale, Florida

UPS: I’ve got a big one for you today!
Office Manager: Ooh! I’ll take it!

10801 Main Street
Bellevue, Washington

Overheard by: Jeni Gonzales

Coworker: Man, I've been using vacation time like a wounded duck.

Titusvile, Florida

Overheard by: Hoss

Female employee: At first I thought she was bullshitting me to get out of going to daycare.

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Joy

Worker: What are those [paper bags with names on them]?
Boss: They’re for the holocaust thing today. … um, we’re remembering the holocaust, we’re not having another one.

East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina

Grunt on phone: I have claustrophobia and am not suicidal. I am not going to hurt anybody.

1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: DB

Caseworker: With all due respect sir, you are deaf. You are not disabled.

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Manager: How could you let this happen?
Clerk: I forgot.
Manager: You forgot? How could you forget? It’s so hard to forget! It’s easy to remember and hard to forget! Remember that! Haven’t you ever forgotten something and you tried to remember it? That’s how easy it is to remember!

1618 Main St.
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Ydnas

Company trainer, hearing temp just dropped her phone in a flushing toilet: Let's take a break… Let's go outside and discuss this.

Rock Island, Illinois

Overheard by: Ian

Excited employee to boss: … And then I punched the raccoon…

Lumber yard office
Boise, Idaho

Overheard by: Michael