Employee #1: I don’t know how you got a better review than you did last year.
Employee #2: Yeah, me either.
Employee #1: You know, I really only get about 50% out of you each day.
Employee #2: Yeah, that sounds about right. Some days more, some days less. Usually less.
Employee #1: Wouldn’t it be great if I got that 100% out of you, though?
Employee #2: Probably, but I really just don’t feel like it.
901 Warrenville Road
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Recovering Workaholic
Worker, entering building and chuckling: I already wiped ya clean one time!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Cashier: Since this is a liquidation, all sales are final and there are no returns or exchanges.
Customer: So if something's wrong with it, I can't return it?
Cashier: That's right.
Customer: Okay.
Customer, after item is paid for: So, I can return this if it's wrong?
Cashier, sighing: You know what? Give it a whirl. Let me know how that goes.
Chicago, Illinois
Employee: I have to go to the restroom and grab a bite to eat.
1800 West Loop South
Houston, Texas
Employee: What I don't understand is, why did god give the bad guys all the oil?
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Government Worker
African American worker #1: I don't claim African American. Who is to say I'm not Jamaican or Dominican Republic?
African American worker #2: Are you serious? Look at yourself!
African American worker #1: You can't make me black!
Hawkinsville, Georgia
Very upset office lady: I can't believe she is downstairs eating corn while you are printing this out!
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: DougEvil
Cube rat on phone: Do you have safety deposit boxes? (pause) And how big is your biggest one? (pause) 10 by 10? How deep are those? (pause) But…what's the third dimension? (pause) There is none? Um, okay, thanks anyway. Bye.
Washington, DC
Employee #1: People hate smokers now.
Employee #2: They really do!
Employee #1: We’re piranhas.
2 Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: Patrick
Cube guy on phone: Should I e-mail you when I have another dump?
Fairfax, Virginia
