Female cube rat: It took me like three minutes to eat the whole 14 inches.
Ivyland, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: impressive technique
Female cube rat: It took me like three minutes to eat the whole 14 inches.
Ivyland, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: impressive technique
Employee #1: This old fart is so devious and evil that if you lock him up alone in the room he would curse his own self.
Employee #2: Shit, if he was the only person left on this earth he would start building conspiracies with his own balls, trying to antagonize his lefty against the righty.
Winchester, Virginia
Claims adjuster: Sir, insurance companies just don't work like that. (pause) We can't let the body shop do whatever they want. They have to follow an estimate. (pause) Sir. (pause) Well, didn't you just say the shop was full of liars and druggies? (pause) Sir, I'm trying to help you get your car fixed, but you keep calling us druggies and saying that god is going to smite us.
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: I shouldn't have skipped church yesterday
Office lady: I've been good–I haven't ordered anything from Amazon all week! Although I suppose the week isn't over yet…
Boss: It's Tuesday.
Denver, Colorado
New mother from cube: Just because you're mommy dearest doesn't mean you're a bad mom.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Office gossip to another: They can have their royal tea wedding and we'll have our pirate fun separately!
Naperville, Illinois
Office girl: I can't stop thinking about that one-eyed monster that visits me in my dreams at night.
Brampton
Canadia
Postal employee: Step up, my man, and take a chance on a postal worker on his second day on the job!
Lorton, Virginia
Overheard by: Another civil servant
Operator, over walkie system: Shoes, you have a call on line 3-4, shoes, line 3-4.
Human resources worker: Hey was that a call for HR Erin?
Operator: No. That was a call for shoes.
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Spizzy
Man at urinal: What I would really like to know is why my piss smells like tuna.
Men's Room
Chicago, Illinois
