Employee #1: Yeah, I made out with girls when I was younger.
Employee #2: You did?
Employee #3: No way!
Boss: You know, that’s a Jewish thing.
Employee #2: What?
Boss: Yes, a lot of Jewish girls I know have fooled around with their girlfriends or are, you know, lesbians.
6 E. 32nd Street
New York, NY
Employee #1: Helen, what’s your e-mail address?
Employee #2: H-E-H-E-Q-I-N@[overheard].com
Employee #1: So that’s H-E-E-E–
Employee #2: No, H-E-H-E.
Employee #1: Okay, like “hee hee”?
Employee #2: Yes. Q-I–
Employee #1: “Hee hee chin chee”?
Employee #2: No.
1088 Yanan West Road
Shanghai, China
Overheard by: Tom Will
VP: You’ll need to sit between [Jake] and I at the next meeting so I don’t kick his ass.
Peon: I’ll hold him if you’ll hit him.
1500 Hampton Street
Columbia, South Carolina
Female employee: I have to wear shoes with heels because it’s seen as “professional.”
Male employee: You may as well be wearing a burkha.
11 W. 53rd Street
New York, NY
Intercom: This is an announcement from the building fire safety department; it is just a test. If you could not hear this message, please contact the fire warden. Thanks for your attention.
1221 6th Avenue
New York, NY
Office manager: Yeah, technically I’m supposed to be the one in charge of organizing everyone to evacuate if there is a fire. But…if this were the real thing, it’s every man for himself.
Co-worker: That’s horrible.
Office manager: The people I feel worst for are the handicapped. They have to find someone to help them out of the building…and I just don’t know who would do that.
3535 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
IT guy: Do you have a license to install Photoshop?
Employee: You need a license?
IT guy: Yeah.
Employee: It’s not that hard to install, you just double click on the icon.
IT guy: You don’t understand.
Employee: Yeah I do, I’m just fucking with you. Jokes are funny.
2 W. 2nd Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Intercom: Luke! Luke, I am your father.
Woman #1: What is that?
Woman #2: Um, I think it’s the PA system.
Intercom: Luke, I am your father!
Woman #1: Yup, this place just keeps getting weirder every day.
735 Brewerton Road
West Point, New York
Maintenance worker: I'd rather owe a dead man 30 dollars.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Guy #1: Oh, that's sticky. Touch it.
Guy #2: I don't want to touch it. I just washed my hands.
Guy #1: Come on!
Guy #2, touches rubber stamp: Oh, that is sticky! Gross!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Consultant from India: They should have a word in English for update, like “updation”. Then you can know that the thing has been updated.
Consultant from America: Well, if you look in the dictionary, they list all the verb tenses there are… and I… don't think that's a word.
Consultant from India: Yes, I made it up. Like that super power friggy-liscious word from the Mary Popplins.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Lah
