Customer: Can you please put me on your do-not-call list?
Telemarketer: Sure… how do you spell that?
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Bored!
Customer: Can you please put me on your do-not-call list?
Telemarketer: Sure… how do you spell that?
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Bored!
Office dude: It's raining, I can hear it.
Office chick: Outside?
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Why does it always rain on me?
CSR, on speakerphone: And where would you like this order shipped?
Secretary: 123 Main St.*, Los Alamos, New Mexico.
CSR : We don’t ship out of the country.
Secretary: That’s fine, but this address is in the country.
CSR : No, you said to ship it to New Mexico.
Secretary: Yes, New Mexico is a state in the US.
CSR : Sorry, but we can’t ship out of the US.
Secretary: Do you have a supervisor I can talk to, please?
[Long pause.]CSR supervisor: This is Tim. Can I help you?
Secretary: I hope so, Tim. Your employee doesn’t seem to understand that New Mexico is a state in the United States, and so refuses to ship me your product.
Supervisor: Well, that’s true. We can’t ship out of the country. I’m sorry ma’am.
Secretary, raising her voice a little: Have you never even heard of the state of New Mexico? It’s one of the big, square ones? It’s right between Texas and Arizona? It’s one of the 50 United States?
Supervisor: I’m sorry, it’s just our policy not to ship out of the US.
Secretary: Tim, let me get this straight. Your company is going to lose a $14,000 order because the people in your customer service department are too moronic to know or comprehend that the state of New Mexico is a part of the United States?
Supervisor: Yes, ma’am. That’s our policy.
Secretary, completely exasperated: Well, I guess there’s nothing more to be said, is there?
Supervisor: No, ma’am. Have a nice day.
Los Alamos, New Mexico
Overheard by: New Mexican
Customer: I would like four chocolate chip, four raisin, and four cinnamon crunch bagels to go, please.
Employee: [Turns to look at bagel rack, turns back to customer.] I’m sorry ma’am, I can’t sell you those.
Customer: But you have four of each sitting right there.
Employee: [Looks back at bagel rack.] But those are the last of our special bagels, and they are reserved for our in-store customers.
Customer: But I’m in your store, and I want to buy your bagels.
Employee: But my manager said I can’t sell those to go.
Customer: So let me get this straight. You’re selling bagels, I want to buy bagels, but you won’t sell me your bagels?
Employee: Well, yes… but it’s my manager…
Customer: How bout I speak to your manager?
Employee: [Gets on phone, whispers to manager, comes back to counter.] Okay, I’ll sell you the bagels.
Customer, under breath: Holy shit.
Panera Bread
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: kim
Male peon: Lot of words on those pages.
Female peon, trying to read on her lunch break: [Blinks] Yeah… Being a book, and all.
Male peon: Well, I dunno. I never really read any book-books. Just, like, magazines and stuff.
Female peon: [Stares.]
Manor Road
Austin, Texas
Bank employee, accompanying exterminator: [Sings.] Spraying for bugs!
[She realizes she sang that out loud to a room full of customers.]Bank employee, under her breath: Oops. Just kidding, we don’t have bugs.
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Ken
Talkative grunt: That was a joke. I’m a comedian. Don’t worry. I’ll be here all week.
Boss walking by: Don’t count on it.
Senlac Drive
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: I miss the days of job security
Office drone #1: Where is the Pentagon?
Office drone #2: It is in Washington, DC…
Office drone #1: Oh! Isn’t it that big hexagon shaped building?
Office manager: [Walking away] Oh Jesus fucking Christ…
Washington Avenue
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Rep #1: Where is the Ford script?
Copywriter, playing flash bubble game: I am working on it right now.
[one minute later]Rep #2: Where is the taxi script?
Copywriter, playing flash bubble game: I am working on it right now.
[less than a minute later]Rep #3: Where is the restaurant chain script?
Copywriter, playing flash bubble game: I am working on it right now.
Rep #3: At least turn the volume down dude…
Robertson Street
Fortitude Valley
Australia
Young guy in office to crowd: Yeah, I spent all of last summer visiting Holland.
Only girl in office: Really? Oh my god, how was the fourth of July over there?
Guy and office: [silence].
18th Street
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Quiet Chuckler
