CSR: Thanks for calling Widgets Inc.* How may I help you?
Client on phone: Yeah, I was just talking to Roger* and we lost connection. Maybe you can finish walking me through whatever.
CSR: Sir, we do not have a Roger. You were just talking to me. We didn’t lose connection. You hung up on me and I was walking you through understanding that our software does not do "whatever."
Eighth Floor, Galleria
Hoover, Alabama
Old Australian man trying to flirt with young female barista: Remember back in the old ages when we could burn women at the stake? That was lovely!
Young female barista: Hahaha!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: jerry
Customer on phone: Can you transfer me to the Electronic section?
Best Buy clerk: Uh, anyone in particular?
Customer on phone: Yes, Electronics.
Best Buy clerk: Sir, you do realize we are an electronic store, right?
Bowie, Maryland
Customer: … And it’s Miss Jameson*, not ‘missus.’ Why does everyone always assume you’re married to some asshole?
801 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC
Technician: Ma’am, your Jaguar needs a new engine.
Jag owner: How can that be?
Technician: When’s the last time you had the oil changed?
Jag owner: My salesperson Vinnie* told me the car was maintenance-free, and just bring it in when it needs service.
Technician: No, ma’am, it’s not maintenance-free, it’s free maintenance.
1815 Maplelawn Drive
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: Vinyl Junkie
Food service worker: What type of soda would you like today?
Female customer: Large.
Food service worker: Yes, mam’m. But what type or flavor did you want?
Female customer: I said large.
Food service worker: Yes, ma’am. Diet Coke? Sprite? Coke? What type?
Female customer: Are you fucking stupid or something? Large. A large soda. How many times do I have to tell you?
San Diego Mall Food Court
San Diego, California
Mortgage rep: And, finally, may I ask you what race you are? Caucasian, African-American…
Customer: I’m Canadian.
Fairfield County, Connecticut
Ghetto-fab girl: Hey, is your chicken made with real chicken?
Employee: Uh… yes?
Ghetto-fab girl: Like, it’s made with the real chicken that lays eggs and stuff like that?
Employee: Yes, ma’am. The chicken is made with real, egg-laying chicken.
Food court, Westfield West County Mall
Des Peres, Missouri
Sorority girl in Spanish class: ‘Diabolico…’ That means he’s diabetic, right?
Classmate: No, it means diabolic.
Sorority girl: So, diabolic… Is that like a medical condition?
Modern Languages building, University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Customer: Do you have The Odyssey in the original Latin?
Haste Street and Telegraph Avenue
Berkeley, California
