Customer on phone: Can you transfer me to the Electronic section?
Best Buy clerk: Uh, anyone in particular?
Customer on phone: Yes, Electronics.
Best Buy clerk: Sir, you do realize we are an electronic store, right?
Bowie, Maryland
Customer on phone: Can you transfer me to the Electronic section?
Best Buy clerk: Uh, anyone in particular?
Customer on phone: Yes, Electronics.
Best Buy clerk: Sir, you do realize we are an electronic store, right?
Bowie, Maryland
Customer: … And it’s Miss Jameson*, not ‘missus.’ Why does everyone always assume you’re married to some asshole?
801 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC
Technician: Ma’am, your Jaguar needs a new engine.
Jag owner: How can that be?
Technician: When’s the last time you had the oil changed?
Jag owner: My salesperson Vinnie* told me the car was maintenance-free, and just bring it in when it needs service.
Technician: No, ma’am, it’s not maintenance-free, it’s free maintenance.
1815 Maplelawn Drive
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: Vinyl Junkie
Food service worker: What type of soda would you like today?
Female customer: Large.
Food service worker: Yes, mam’m. But what type or flavor did you want?
Female customer: I said large.
Food service worker: Yes, ma’am. Diet Coke? Sprite? Coke? What type?
Female customer: Are you fucking stupid or something? Large. A large soda. How many times do I have to tell you?
San Diego Mall Food Court
San Diego, California
Mortgage rep: And, finally, may I ask you what race you are? Caucasian, African-American…
Customer: I’m Canadian.
Fairfield County, Connecticut
Ghetto-fab girl: Hey, is your chicken made with real chicken?
Employee: Uh… yes?
Ghetto-fab girl: Like, it’s made with the real chicken that lays eggs and stuff like that?
Employee: Yes, ma’am. The chicken is made with real, egg-laying chicken.
Food court, Westfield West County Mall
Des Peres, Missouri
Sorority girl in Spanish class: ‘Diabolico…’ That means he’s diabetic, right?
Classmate: No, it means diabolic.
Sorority girl: So, diabolic… Is that like a medical condition?
Modern Languages building, University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Customer: Do you have The Odyssey in the original Latin?
Haste Street and Telegraph Avenue
Berkeley, California
User: I don’t want a customer to be able to login and they might guess that their password is “welcome.”
Tech: We can change it to, let’s say, “monkey123.”
User: Well, what if they guess “monkey123”?
4 Columbus Circle
New York, NY
Courtesy clerk: Can I help you find something, sir?
Male customer: Yes. I need condoms and cake right now! If I can’t get one tonight, I need the other. Can you hurry?
Grocery store
California
Overheard by: Daphne
