Customer: Why are you billing me for this stuff?
CSR: Did you make the purchases on your credit card statement?
Customer: Yes, but I already paid for them. I used my credit card.
CSR: Yes, but now you have to pay your credit card bill.
Customer: That’s stupid. Why would I pay for something twice?
4325 17th Avenue S.
Fargo, North Dakota
Customer: Why is your store so big?
Salesgirl: [Silence.]Customer: I’m an accountant — I notice these things.
Chocolate store
North Plainfield, New Jersey
Overheard by: Other Salesgirl
Cashier: You have $3.99 in late fees for No Country for Old Men. Would you like to pay that today?
Customer: I didn’t rent that.
Cashier: You handed it to me when you walked in, sir.
Hollywood Video
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Jen
Customer: … And before I go, can I get your name, Stanley*?
Stanley, the salesman: Um… Well, it’s… Stanley.
Canton, Michigan
Customer on phone: How come my phone doesn’t work?
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Customer: How do you guys get to New York? Like, which flights do I have to get on?
Ticket agent: (explains routes, flight numbers, arrival times, etc.)
Customer: Okay. I'd like a ticket to Chicago, please.
Edmonton International Airport
Canadia
Overheard by: Amused Agent
Customer: Is Office 2003 the latest version of Office that’s out?
Salesperson: Yeah, they most likely won’t come out with a new version until Vista is released, which should be about the end of the year.
Customer: What’s that?
Salesperson: Vista?
Customer: Yeah, Rista? What is that? Is that the new Office?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the new operating system that’s coming out. Last I heard Microsoft was planning to release it near the end of this year.
Customer: Microsoft’s going to sell computers now?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the operating system that gets installed on computers. It’s what makes your computer run.
Customer: Oh, yeah, I knew that already. Are you going to be carrying Microsoft’s new computers?
Willard Building
State College, Pennsylvania
CSR: So that is apartment “E,” like “echo”?
Customer: Eh… No, no, no. “E” like “elephant”!
Kitchener
Ontario
Canadia
Client on phone: When can I schedule an appointment to conjugate a meeting?
315 North Great Neck Road
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Server: Are you ready?
Customer: I don’t know what I want. What do you like?
Server: When the customer makes up his mind and orders.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: I Like the Grilled Tuna
