Dumb Customers

Angry man about faulty hard drive: Don’t tell me it’s empty when there’s shit on it! Shit is shit and empty is empty! This thing is lying to me like the White House!

Electronics store, 2721 East 3rd Street
Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: Tony

Customer: Will this XBox game work on a Playstation 2?
Salesperson: No.
Customer: Well, I will try it, but if it doesn’t can I return it?

Clarke Crescent
Perth, Western Australia

Overheard by: Kiran

Customer: These new labels are awful. Just awful! Why did you change them? I hate them.
Pharmacist: I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t have any control over the labels.
Customer: They don’t even tell me when it’s time to refill my ‘scription. When am I supposed to refill my ‘scription?
Pharmacist: … When you run out of medication, sir.
Customer: Well, how in the hell am I supposed to know that?

CVS/Pharmacy
High Point, North Carolina

Coworker: Here you go, sir. Enjoy the show!
Drunk customer, after buying Justin Timberlake tickets: Oh, these aren’t for me, but I’ll enjoy the head I’m getting for buying these tickets.

Ticket Center, Willowbrook Mall
Wayne, New Jersey

Overheard by: Glad he didn’t come to my window

Intercom: Welcome to Popeye’s. Can I take your order?
Woman: Yes, I’d like a Number 2 with a Sprite, please.
Intercom: That will be $8.43… mild or spicy?
Woman: Yes.
Intercom: Mild or spicy?
Woman: Yes, please.
Intercom: [laughter]Woman: What? What?
Intercom: That will be $41.23.

Popeye’s
Waldorf, Maryland

Support staff: Hello, how can I help you?
Caller: Can I speak to Nora?
Support staff: I'm sorry, there is no Nora in this office.
Caller: I called yesterday too.
Support staff: Yes, I remember. There was no Nora yesterday, either.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Shamim

Person: Hi, I’m here for my 1 o’clock meeting. I know I’m a little early…
Receptionist: I’m sorry, what?
Person: I’m here for my meeting at 1; I’m early. Sorry about that.
Receptionist: Um…Yeah, it’s almost 3…So…
Person: Oh sorry, right, 3, must be in a different time zone.

9250 Beverly Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Girl #1: It’s so scary hearing about people dying.
Girl #2: Yeah, totally… You can die from so many things. You can die from death, sickness…

Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: elle

Cashier: Since this is a liquidation, all sales are final and there are no returns or exchanges.
Customer: So if something's wrong with it, I can't return it?
Cashier: That's right.
Customer: Okay.
Customer, after item is paid for: So, I can return this if it's wrong?
Cashier, sighing: You know what? Give it a whirl. Let me know how that goes.

Chicago, Illinois

Passenger: What time does the five o’clock bus leave?
Bus driver, sarcastically: I don’t know.

Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: Another bus driver