Coworker: Here you go, sir. Enjoy the show!
Drunk customer, after buying Justin Timberlake tickets: Oh, these aren’t for me, but I’ll enjoy the head I’m getting for buying these tickets.
Ticket Center, Willowbrook Mall
Wayne, New Jersey
Overheard by: Glad he didn’t come to my window
Intercom: Welcome to Popeye’s. Can I take your order?
Woman: Yes, I’d like a Number 2 with a Sprite, please.
Intercom: That will be $8.43… mild or spicy?
Woman: Yes.
Intercom: Mild or spicy?
Woman: Yes, please.
Intercom: [laughter]Woman: What? What?
Intercom: That will be $41.23.
Popeye’s
Waldorf, Maryland
Support staff: Hello, how can I help you?
Caller: Can I speak to Nora?
Support staff: I'm sorry, there is no Nora in this office.
Caller: I called yesterday too.
Support staff: Yes, I remember. There was no Nora yesterday, either.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Shamim
Person: Hi, I’m here for my 1 o’clock meeting. I know I’m a little early…
Receptionist: I’m sorry, what?
Person: I’m here for my meeting at 1; I’m early. Sorry about that.
Receptionist: Um…Yeah, it’s almost 3…So…
Person: Oh sorry, right, 3, must be in a different time zone.
9250 Beverly Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Girl #1: It’s so scary hearing about people dying.
Girl #2: Yeah, totally… You can die from so many things. You can die from death, sickness…
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: elle
Cashier: Since this is a liquidation, all sales are final and there are no returns or exchanges.
Customer: So if something's wrong with it, I can't return it?
Cashier: That's right.
Customer: Okay.
Customer, after item is paid for: So, I can return this if it's wrong?
Cashier, sighing: You know what? Give it a whirl. Let me know how that goes.
Chicago, Illinois
Passenger: What time does the five o’clock bus leave?
Bus driver, sarcastically: I don’t know.
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: Another bus driver
Customer: Why are you billing me for this stuff?
CSR: Did you make the purchases on your credit card statement?
Customer: Yes, but I already paid for them. I used my credit card.
CSR: Yes, but now you have to pay your credit card bill.
Customer: That’s stupid. Why would I pay for something twice?
4325 17th Avenue S.
Fargo, North Dakota
Customer: Why is your store so big?
Salesgirl: [Silence.]Customer: I’m an accountant — I notice these things.
Chocolate store
North Plainfield, New Jersey
Overheard by: Other Salesgirl
Cashier: You have $3.99 in late fees for No Country for Old Men. Would you like to pay that today?
Customer: I didn’t rent that.
Cashier: You handed it to me when you walked in, sir.
Hollywood Video
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Jen
