Receptionist: No, sir. No, I don't know where you heard that. (pause) No, our judges cannot issue you a new Green Card over the phone.
Baltimore, Maryland
Receptionist: No, sir. No, I don't know where you heard that. (pause) No, our judges cannot issue you a new Green Card over the phone.
Baltimore, Maryland
Blonde: Oh, you can’t make the appointment tomorrow?
Older lady: No, I have a rehearsal dinner tomorrow.
Blonde: Oh, wow! What play are you in?
Older lady: No, a rehearsal dinner is for a wedding.
Blonde: Oh! … Why do you have to rehearse dinner?
Westport Road
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Glad I’m not blonde
Caller, after lengthy pause: Sorry, I’m just unplugging the computer.
Tech support: That’s ok. I just pretend I’m getting one of those heavy breathing calls.
Memphis, Tennessee
Hotel guest: I started taking that Trimspa about a month ago. I haven’t lost any weight, but my chest is huge!
State and Division Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Sara G
Loud man complaining to librarian: Can you turn the heat up or the air conditioning down? It's too cold in here. It might be fine for someone with type o blood, but I'm freezing!
Public Library
La Jolla, California
Customer: Do I have to pay for that over the phone?
Customer service agent: Yes, ma’am.
Customer: Do you take cash?
Glenwood Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: suse
Sandwich artist: What kind of sandwich do you want?
Guy: I’m a vegetarian, so I want the veggie sub.
Sandwich artist: What items do you want on it?
Guy: Everything in the picture… And throw some chicken on there.
Sandwich artist: You can’t have chicken on that! Chicken is meat!
Guy: Chicken ain’t meat! Just put it on there!
Subway
Charlotte, North Carolina
Customer: And what are your hours?
Leasing rep: We’re open from 10 to 6.
Customer: So could I do 6:30?
Leasing rep: No, we close at 6.
Customer: Oh, okay, I guess that’ll work then.
Randallstown, Maryland
Overheard by: tkap
Customer: I know you wouldn’t carry Jell-O, but do you have something exactly like it but called something else?
Whole Foods
Silver Spring, Maryland
Operator: Thank you for calling Bayshore Medical Insurance*; how can I assist?
Caller: So who are you?
Operator: We’re an insurance company.
Caller: And what do you do?
Operator: We help you with your insurance.
Caller: I don’t understand.
Operator: Well, your boss gives you benefits for working there, and our job is to help you use your benefits.
Caller: I don’t have any benefits! I never signed up for this! Did my boss tell you to call me? Is he trying to set me up? Who told you to call me?
Operator: Sir, you called me.
Market Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: The Man
