I’ll Just Let Myself Out. Again.

Employer: Unfortunately, you’re not bond-able for hire because you have a felony from 2003.
Interviewee: I do? What for?
Employer: It seems it was for a parole violation.
Interviewee: Those are felonies?

Coralville, Iowa

Overheard by: Meg

Posted on July 23, 2015
Crimes, Default, General Idiocy, Interviewers/Interviewees, Iowa

I Strut

Salesman: What you need to do is sashay out there and tell him like it is.
Boss: First of all, bro, I do not sashay.

State Street
Beaver, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 22, 2015
Advice, Comebacks, Default, Pennsylvania, Sales, Smart Bosses, Words

Thanks, Sweetie, but a Juice Box Isn’t the Same Thing at All

Teacher running in, glancing around wildly: Anyone got a lighter?

Preschool
Denver, Colorado

Posted on July 21, 2015
Colorado, Default, General Idiocy, Offers and requests, Teachers

Further Evidence That April Is the Cruelest Month

Customer service rep #1: Hey quick questions how much are these coupons worth?
Customer service rep #2: I'm kinda busy what does the coupon say? Then I can look it up.
Customer service rep #1 (reading the coupon): "ten dollars to spend in march."

Jefferson City, MO
Corporation

Overheard by: Seriously?

Posted on July 21, 2015
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Moist, Delicious Students by the Basket

Boss: It will be a nice, warm, and fuzzy family event, which will increase student yield.

Hempstead, New York

Posted on July 20, 2015
Bosses, Default, Education, Family, Money, New York

Is Anyone Else a Little Turned on Right Now?

Female sales rep (on phone): Wait is it cox or box? (pause) well I don't have cox, I'm looking and don't see any cox in front of me here. (pause) I do have a box down here though. (pause) yeah I guess we'll go with that.

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Posted on July 20, 2015
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Which Is to Say It’s Like the Subway

Father, trying to get his teenage daughter excited about reading The Odyssey: It’s like a horror movie… for really, really old people.

Public Library
Anchorage, Alaska

Overheard by: not-so-old but I still like The Odyssey

Posted on July 19, 2015
Age and ageing, Alaska, Arts, Cinema, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Parents

But It's Humpday!

Boss: No, you can't hump Bill's leg.
Underling: Dammit!

Mound Court
Merrimack, New Hampshire

Posted on July 19, 2015
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Default, New Hampshire, Offers and requests, Weirdness

Um, This Is a Daycare Center

Office female: I plan on staying drunk during the entire christmas holiday… Somebody'll watch the kids.

Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on July 19, 2015
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The Customer Is Always Righteous

Cashier: Alright, so that’s going to be $47.68.
Customer: What? The book was $31.99!
Cashier: Ummm, actually, it was $44.99…
Customer: It says $31.99!
Cashier: I’m afraid you were looking at the American price, ma’am…
Customer: So?!
Cashier: We’re in Canada.
Customer, indignant: Well, I want to speak to a manager!
Cashier: Unfortunately, I don’t think he’ll be able to change global economy, but let me page him…

Ontario
Canadia

Posted on July 18, 2015
Comebacks, Default, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Money, Smart Employees

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