CSR: Thank you for calling Large Corporate Office Supplies. This is Andie*. How may I help you? (pause) Uh-huh. It's a box of a dozen. (long pause) Pardon? (pause) No, ma'am. It's a regular dozen so just the 12 pencils in the box. You're welcome. (takes off headset) I need Vallium!
Rosebery
Australia
Coworker: No… Honestly, if you give a man enough estrogen and provide enough nipple stimulation, he will produce milk.
Wellington
New Zealand
Receptionist: With a “c”?
(pause)
Receptionist: Catherine with a “c”?
(pause)
Receptionist: Oh, you mean “k” as in “cat”!
Seguin, Texas
Overheard by: Vivian
Female student: Where are you from?
Male student: Milwaukee.
Female student: Oh, you know, I always forget Milwaukee is a state.
Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennessee
Sales rep, to no one in particular: What did five fingers say to the face? Slap!
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Boss to chubby young female coworker: Hey, why are you jingling?
Chubby young female co-worker (after brief pause): Umm, because I'm fat.
Boss (horrified): Wait… What?! No, no, not “jiggle” …jingle!
Chubby young female coworker (laughing): Oooooooh! (lifts up foot and gives it a shake) I have little bells on my socks!
New Market, Maryland
Male sales consultant to male sales manager: Okay, Bob*, Wednesday I'm off of you and on him.
Poway, California
Overheard by: tobeylee
Older woman: This is the first day since you started here that I haven't talked to you!
Younger man: I know! I'm going to go home and write about it in my diary!
Anoka, Minnesota
Overheard by: Will he use his sparkly pen?
Phone drone, to subscriber on the phone: Every piece of information subscribers tell me I basically file away in my head as a little piece of information.
Technology Drive
Malvern, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: captainobvious
Coworker #1: Check out this cat stroller!
Coworker #2: If cats need strollers, no wonder us humans are so fat.
Farmington Hills, Michigan
