Female coworker: Hey, I brought you your favorite breakfast.
Male coworker (stocking groceries): You did? What did you bring me?
Female coworkers: Watermelon tacos!
Male coworker: Watermelon tacos?
1300 s 31st, temple texas–grocery store
Female coworker: Hey, I brought you your favorite breakfast.
Male coworker (stocking groceries): You did? What did you bring me?
Female coworkers: Watermelon tacos!
Male coworker: Watermelon tacos?
1300 s 31st, temple texas–grocery store
Peon: Is one million with six zeros?
Boss: Yes, and a one.
10877 Watson Road
St. Louis, Missouri
Cube dweller #1: You've worked with giraffes?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, transporting them is a real pain. They go in an open trailer, and every time you get to an overpass, you have to either let air out of all the tires to fit under it, or you have to stop, back them out of the trailer, walk them around the overpass, get them back in the trailer… It takes forever to get anywhere.
Cube dweller #1: Can't you just teach them to duck?
Cube dweller #2: (long pause) Not at those speeds.
Pearl Street
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Explains giraffe-shaped divots in overpasses
Female office worker #1: I had a job stuffing envelopes and it destroyed my cuticles.
Female office worker #2: Yeah, I had one where I had to fold letters all day and I got a ton of paper cuts.
Only male in department: Oh, I have a story about a bloody hand job.
Troy, New York
Overheard by: Sneaker
Boss, in response to employees discussing Project Runway: Oh, what is that? A show about airports?
Washington, DC
Female employee #1: So you're telling me you don't understand?
Female employee #2: Of course I don't get it, I'm legally blonde at heart, and Polish to boot!
Male employee: I don't know if I'm allowed to laugh at that… Because its actually kinda racist.
Denver, Colorado
Colleague, stirring powdered cocoa mix into yogurt: Dammit, no one ever pays any attention to me until I do something just slightly gross, and then there's always a witness!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Suit #1: I saw a show where the cook made food out of his wife's breast milk. Then he gave it to people to taste. That's weird.
Suit #2: Not really weird. Humans drink breast milk. People like breasts and will always be on the hunt for breasts–even when they're as young as babies!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Receptionist #1: Do you mind watching the phones? I have a conference call. It’ll probably last about 30 minutes.
Receptionist #2, confused: Who do you have to call?
Receptionist #1, very seriously: My cat psychic.
5th Avenue
New York City, New York
