Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Do you need me to come over there?
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): No, sir, I just got it up. Everything's fine.
Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Well, let me know if you need help and I'll send someone over.
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): Roger that, sir.
Pacific Fleet Headquarters
Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
Overheard by: Just a lowly contractor
Boss (walks in and says, deadpan): My wife had a stripper over this weekend and now my entire house smells like coconut oil.
Victoria Parade
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Feeling inqdequate about MY weekend…
Telemarketer: Hello, could I speak to Wally the Clown please?
(short pause)
Telemarketer: Oh, sorry to disturb you then. (to coworker) Dialed the wrong number!
Talbot Road
Manchester
England
Overheard by: Thomas
Guy #1: Man, they're killing me. Is there something I can do to stop the digging?
Guy #2: Yes. Go to the local store and buy some (illegible). I baited every one of my holes and haven't had to worry about them since.
St. Louis, Missouri
Flustered bailiff: Ok, I sound a little obsessed with this woman I have zero connection to other than she had sex with the delivery guy my married co-worker has a crush on, but seriously, what a whore.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Administration
Female coworker #1: You smell like a perfume I used to wear.
Female coworker #2: Did you just say I smell like a turkey baster?
Seattle, Washington
Woman on the phone (groaning): What are they protesting this time? (pause) Are they protesting polar bears again?
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: who wouldn't protest?
Suit to a group of coworkers who just crowded into elevator: Do you think we’ll get to talk about Matt’s nuggets at this morning’s meeting?
SoMa
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Green
Manager on phone: How was my day off? Well, I'm properly sore now.
Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug's Mom
Coworker: I think Israel's in the right. (pause) I dated a Lebanese girl once. I'd want to bomb them, too.
Champaign, Illinois
