Employee #1: Did you know that a baby is 10 times more likely to have both sets of genitalia than he is having Down's syndrome?
Employee #2: Really?
Employee #3: That's weird.
Employee #1: Yeah, I know. I used to know a kid who had Down's syndrome.
(pause)
Employee #3: What do you mean used to know? What, did he get better?
Sudbury, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Woofenstein Esq
Coworker #1: So I had to take my friend to the ER last night because she was experimenting with a hot dog.
Coworker #2: What?!
Coworker #1: Yep, she got the hot dog stuck up her vagina and we couldn't get it out.
Springfield, Illinois
Overheard by: Snow White
Worried secretary: Joe has a problem with the masturbation story.
Congress Avenue
Delray Beach, Florida
CEO wrapping up a video conference: I just want to thank everyone for making this the best three-way I’ve ever had!
Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: Admin Assistant K
<b>president:</b> let me put it this way… I make a lot of money, you should trust me.
Fort Mill, SC
Engineer: The woodridge office is nice. They have an intercom system.
Secretary: We have that too. It's called screaming over the top of the cubicles.
Wheaton, Illinois
Worker getting up from corner of a desk: Oh my god, I think I sat on a nerve… My penis is numb! You know the technique “the stranger” where you sit on your hand?
Coworker: Yeah.
Numb worker: This is the opposite of that, it's like I have someone else's penis in my pants right now.
168th Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Cube woman #1: Ugh, it tastes like banana.
Cube woman #2: Your mom tastes like banana.
Cube woman #1: Actually, my mom tastes like embalming fluid.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Coworker, answering phone after ignoring it four times: Hello? (pause) Yeah, listen Dave, can this wait? I'm a little busy. (pause) Look, I'm just busy. (pause) Dave, I'm taking my after-lunch shit, leave me alone. (pause) No, I'll be back in like ten minutes. (pause) Yeah, ten minutes, I like to enjoy my after-lunch crap. (pause) No… no… Yes. (pause) Look, I'll be back soon, just hold tight. (pause) Dave, you're hands down the biggest pain in the ass ever. You're a bigger pain in the ass than this turd I'm trying to squeeze out of my butt as we speak. I'm going to hang up right now and when I'm done shitting, I'm going take a picture of this turd with my cell phone and everytime you call, this picture is going to show up on my screen.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: dude in next stall over
