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What Happens When You Learn History on a Hippie Commune

Maintenance idiot: How do you think they came up with that whole groundhog thing?
Electronics clerk: What groundhog thing?
Maintenance idiot: You know, the groundhog sees his shadow and we have six more months of winter. How do you think they came up with that idea?
Electronics clerk: Ummmm… It’s six weeks…
Maintenance idiot: I bet it was all of those animal activist settlers back when they came to America, or something.
Electronics clerk: Animal activist settlers?

Ft. Smith, Arkansas

Overheard by: i love my job

Twenty Minutes Of Content Turned Into Four Hours Of Agony

Woman to her colleagues: You missed a scintillating webinar this morning.

Manhattan, New York

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Is This, Like, a Religious Prejudice?

Scottish girl to Irish guy wearing t-shirt with “deadly” on it: You're not deadly!
Irish guy: It's Dublin slang. It means “cool.”
Scottish girl: Oh. (pause) You're not deadly!

High Street
London
England

Overheard by: jack

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With Much Public Flailing-About, So Everyone Knows

Office consultant that everyone hates: Once I commit to something I tend to try to do it.

Community Co-op
Newark, New Jersey

My Sonar Tells Me You're Jealous

Straight girl: Dolphins are just gay sharks.
Straight dude: Hahaha, gay sharks.
Gay dude: Oh, haha, very funny.
Straight dude to gay dude: Your new name is “flipper”.

Manhattan, New York

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Just a Matter of Time for the UN

Young male employee to friend: I mean there's no strippers in cages or anything, but it looks like it could turn into that kind of place, you know?

Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York

…Why Yes, I Am Wearing Black Thong Underwear

Sales rep on phone: Hi, this is Allison with ABC*. (pause) And what would that be? (pause) Well, why don't you tell me why I'm calling, since you already have someone doing that for you? (pause) Yes. you do speak English…

Fort Mill, South Carolina

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Someone’s Been Sniffing the Toner Again

Receptionist, on his last day: How can I give the rest of the staff access to these files?
Tech guy: Put them on the network.
Receptionist: Where’s the network?
Tech guy: Exactly! It’s everywhere, man!

University of Minnesota, Minneapolis

Overheard by: I’m New Here

If Only He Wouldn’t Make Major Adjustments in My Face

Foxy lady #1: My boss smells like he hasn’t bathed in a month. He smells like his private parts!
Foxy lady #2: Gross like a huge unbathed dick.
Foxy lady #1: Yeah.

The Bronx
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Banana Forest Thief

But Not Tomorrow, Please

Male employee: Can I clock out?
Male manager: Sure, go ahead. And thanks for bringing sexy back today.

Exposition Boulevard
Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Made me wish I worked at Costco

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