50-year old guy #1: I don't want to be here.
50-year old guy #2, passing by: Just shit your pants. Nobody likes working with you if you have shitty pants.
Rocky River, Ohio
50-year old guy #1: I don't want to be here.
50-year old guy #2, passing by: Just shit your pants. Nobody likes working with you if you have shitty pants.
Rocky River, Ohio
Cake decorator: It’s because you hit me with the fish!
1 Kent Road
New Milford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Nik
Female coworker: I do anything that comes in my box.
Merrimack, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Stefanie G.
Coworker: Who won the World Cup game?
Supervisor: Ghana beat the U.S.
Coworker: Aw, I wanted the U.S. to win!
Supervisor: Why? The U.S. wins everything. That’s why we have the Olympics.
1145 East 4th Street
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
Coworker #1 (after a low-rumblin', hearty burp): What? “unprofessionalism” is not a word?
Coworker #2: Did you just ask that after burping?
New York City, New York
Coworker #1: Hey, can you download this script for me: ‘I’m in Hell.’
Coworker #2: Oh my god, what happened? You were fine just a second ago! What’s that script you want called?
Coworker #1: ‘I’m in Hell,’ and I’m fine.
Coworker #2: That’s weird, having a script called ‘I’m fine’ when you’re in Hell.
Coworker #1: No, not ‘I’m fine’ — ‘I’m in Hell.’
Coworker #2: Seriously? What’s going on?!
Coworker #1: The script is ‘I’m in Hell.’ And I’m fine.
Coworker #2: Wait, what?
Coworker #1: [Sighs.]Boss: This is lamest edition of ‘Who’s on first?’ I’ve ever heard.
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Office Ears
Broker #1: I’m getting a divorce.
Broker #2: No way, man. You’re lying.
Broker #1, sadly: I wouldn’t lie about that.
Broker #2: Oh, now, you’re just saying that to make me jealous.
30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker, trying to help another with computer problem: Can I just touch your mouse? Sometimes it helps me think.
Fall River, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ben
Older front desk agent to newer one: Hey, Michael, is your name Peter?
Hotel
Las Vegas, Nevada
Call center worker #1: How do you spell “real”?
Call center worker #2: Umm…I think it’s r-a-e-l.
Call center worker #1: Thanks…Are you sure? That doesn’t look quite right.
Call center worker #2: Yeah. Like Is. Is-rael. Isreal. Yeah!
26600 SW Parkway
Wilsonville, Oregon
