Cube worker #1: That's because you're gay.
Cube worker #2: “Gay” as in “happy”?
Cube worker #1: No, “gay” as in “Olympics”!
Twinsburg, Ohio
Blonde in next cubicle: It's especially sad when turtles get killed. I mean, aren't they like really wise and live for hundreds of years or something?
Toronto
Canadia
Male coworker to another: I just couldn't pass up the chance to dominate you.
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Platinum
Camera guy to audio guy: It's zero! Zero is zero! You can't have more above zero than zero!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Tigertail
Male coworker: I have a date with a new woman this weekend.
Female coworker: Yeah? What's she like?
Male coworker: Sounds promising. She doesn't smoke. No kids. No pets.
Female coworker: You do realize that your endgame involves being this woman's boyfriend and not her landlord, don't you?
Lakewood, Colorado
Office gal: So last night I learned that human skin is essentially an evolutionary trait that allowed us to run!
Office guy: Okay…
Office gal: Cause it has more sweat glands and less fur, which meant we didn't overheat when chasing down prey…
Office guy: Great. (turns to leave)
Office gal: Hey, where are you going?
Office guy: To the bathroom.
Office gal: Okay, but come back because I have more things to tell you about sweat!
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Male coworker to female coworker: I like your shirt.
Female coworker: Thanks. It's new.
Male coworker: The ruching makes your boobs look really perky.
(awkward pause)
Male coworker: I guess now would be a good time to tell you I'm gay.
Female worker: Yeah, you had me at “ruching”
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: It's pretty obvious
Coworker: Stephanie [the manager] isn't here, so we can say “taint” and “dirty sanchez” all we want!
Springfield, Ohio
Overheard by: Monika
Coworker #1: You know, Diana* is leaving to move to Austin.
Coworker #2 (bitter and disappointed): I hate it when people leave.
Coworker #3: Really? I like it because we get snacks.
Park Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker: The normal media won't tell you the truth. That's why I listen to talk shows.
Oak Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Vejewsbian
