Young coworker: You're on top of things today.
80-year-old coworker: It's always good to be on top… Well, unless you're tired, then the bottom is better.
Mount Prospect, Illinois
Young coworker: You're on top of things today.
80-year-old coworker: It's always good to be on top… Well, unless you're tired, then the bottom is better.
Mount Prospect, Illinois
Naive intern: Soo… Bob* from IT asked me if I wanted to go see Blue Man Group with him last week, and so I casually said I had plans with my boyfriend, to let him know I was spoken for, you know?
Office bitch: I'm sorry, I don't see the problem.
Naive intern: Well, ever since then he won't leave me alone and keeps asking me to hang out. Until I mentioned I had a boyfriend he wouldn't even talk to me!
Office bitch: Have you considered the possibility that maybe he just wants to be your friend?
Average worker: Woah! Look who got a soul for Christmas!
Woburn, Massachusetts
Overheard by: i got coal….
Coworker, on phone on other side of cubicle: No, no, you don't look like Barney. You look good.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Now I've Got That Song In My Head
Random guy to male coworker #1: I don't know you, man, but you look great in that beard.
Male coworker #2: Oh man, you got dudes giving you compliments now!
Male coworker #1: I think it's time for it to go.
Copley Square
Boston, Massachusetts
Male coworker #1: Supposed to get up to fifty this weekend!
Male coworker #2: Yup.
Male coworker #1: Folks are gonna looooove that.
Male coworker #2: Yep. Especially the doctors.
Male coworker #1: What?
Male coworker #2: Yeah, cuz you know when it gets warm everyone takes off their coats and then gets a cold and they have to go to the doctor, and he gets to poke them in the butt.
Crane, Indiana
Overheard by: Dr. J
Female coworker on phone: Was it big? (pause) Oh… Wow! He used an attachment? (pause) Well, how much did that add on?
Ottawa
Canadia
Female coworker: The school just called, my first grader is in the nurse's office.
Male coworker: What's wrong?
Female coworker: She partied too hard this weekend.
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lola
Male coworker in men's room, heard echoing from outer hallway: Don't make me spank you with my sexticles.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Male office worker: Megan Fox is so hot in the Transformers movie…
Female office worker: Except for her thumb.
Male office worker: What?
Female office worker: Seriously, google “Megan Fox thumb.”
Male office worker, after googling it: Oh my god!
Female office worker: See?
Freehold, New Jersey
Overheard by: Max
Female coworker: Here. Put it in here.
Male coworker: It doesn't fit right.
Female coworker: Seriously? I think it was made for this.
Male coworker: No, really, it just doesn't feel right. I'll have to find another way.
Female coworker: Dude! Just stick it in and we'll sort it out later!
Baltimore, Maryland
