Clueless coworker, holding up bracelet she found at H&M: The store is exactly like Forever 21.
Patienceless coworker, raising eyebrows: No. It's not… at all! Not even remotely.
Clueless coworker: Well, it's kinda sorta similar in some ways.
Sacramento, California
Female coworker: See you Friday!
Leaving employee: I'm off Friday!
Coworker: See you Saturday!
Leaving employee: I'm off Saturday!
Coworker: See you next week! (mutters under breath) I guess that's the only other option.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
Girl: I love your shiny yellow balls.
Guy, laughing: Context is everything.
Seattle, Washington
Marketing guy to PR girl: You'd better go home and eat your asparagus and get some sleep, because we have to be up at the crack of shitty dawn tomorrow.
Ontario
Canadia
Coworker #1: The shit's gonna hit the fan! (group laughter)
Coworker #2: You know, I've actually seen that.
(group pause)
Coworker #1: You see, I used to work on a dairy farm…
Dean's Office, Boston College
Boston, Massachusetts
Coworker #1:, on Kirstie Alley's appearance on Dancing with the Stars: She must be wearing those things, what are they called?
Coworker #2: Spanks.
Coworker #1: Stanks?
East Petersburg, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1, at the end of the day: That's it, I'm going to pick up my daughter from school, go home, and take drugs!
Coworker #2: What did you say ?
Coworker #1: I'm going home.
Coworker #2: No, that other part.
Coworker #1: I am going home to take drugs until I'm in heaven.
Herndon, Virginia
Coworker on phone: 'A' as in 'telephone'? (pause) Oh, 'e' as in 'telephone.'
Grandview, Ohio
Cubicle guy #1: So your sister had surgery?
Cubicle guy #2: Yeah, she had a hysterectomy.
Cubicle guy #1: Oh, wow, so she don't want more kids.
Cubicle guy #2: Well, she had a c-section with the last one and there was so much scar tissue in her uterus that she was having never-ending periods and just bleeding for months on end. She said she was not doing anything but bleeding and passing golf ball-sized clots and ruining her furniture, clothes, sheets. She was tired of having really bloody periods.
Cubicle guy #1: Oh.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Rachael
Office lady: Is someone moving furniture upstairs?
Cubicle guy: I think Mark* just farted.
Mark*: Excuse me…
Portland, Oregon
