Coworker on phone: By the way, do you know where I can buy some coyote pee?
Warehouse
Illinois
Office girl #1: She talks about him like he poops gold or something. Wouldn't it be great to poop gold?
Office girl #2: Um, no not really.
Office girl #1: Think about it. It's gold.
Office girl #2: Okay, I guess so. But, I mean, would it still smell?
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Peps
Coworker, very matter-of-factly: Well, that's why I don't have stomach problems. I don't watch the news, I don't read the paper, and the only financial thing I watch is my bank account.
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: The receptionist hears the craziest stuff
Secretary #1: How was your mother's day?
Secretary #2: Oh, my mother is dead.
Secretary #1: I know. (hyena laugh)
Townsend St
San Francisco, California
Coworker: Hey, are you doing Lego naked in there?!
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The joys of a home office
Man: I talked to John. He said he and Michelle got divorced less than a year after they were married. I really didn’t like her anyway. She was really bullheaded.
Woman: Oh. That’s too bad.
Man: Yeah, they just got divorced, but he’s doing well. He just adopted a seventeen-year-old girl. It’s helping to distract him.
Woman: Huh?
University of Oregon
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: Reed
Spot op #1: [Bill] tells good stories, he’s an excellent storyteller; me, I’m a stuttering prick when I tell a story.
Spot op #2: I tell stories, but they’re not very funny.
Spot op #1: Or interesting.
245 West 52nd Street
New York, NY
Overheard by:
Worker bee: I’ve got a carton of condoms. Do you think that will be enough?
Perth
Australia
Overheard by: Rachelle
Grunt #1: I figured out the perfect way to get the TV remote from my wife late at night.
Grunt #2: Yeah?
Grunt #1: I act horny. She’d rather give up the TV than give up the ass.
46 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Partner: Can you please find a nice Jewish lawyer who can unfuck this situation for me?
Dallas, Texas
