Male coworker: That smells good, what is it?
Female coworker: Air freshener… and a fart.
Nashville, Tennessee
Male coworker: That smells good, what is it?
Female coworker: Air freshener… and a fart.
Nashville, Tennessee
(coworker #2 has just returned from a two-hour meeting)
Coworker #1: How was the meeting?
Coworker #2: My hemorrhoids are okay until we get to the 1:45 mark. Then I get that itchy twitchy feeling.
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lola
Bike messenger #1: Hey, you race at all?
Bike messenger #2: There's no glory in racing. The only glory is on the streets.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Just Let Me Sign for This
Coworker #1: Go fist yourself.
Coworker #2: You love saying that. I think we should start a national campaign using that slogan!
Coworker #1: I like that idea. We just need someone who’s willing to appear on a billboard with their fist up their ass…
Both coworkers: Carl*!
Route 22 and Colonial Road
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Nathan
Worker bee #1: As soon as he was naked he started touching himself.
Worker bee #2: Oh my god!
Worker bee #1: Sometimes she touches herself… but not in a long time. Every time he’s naked he diddles himself!
New Hyde Park, New York
Coworker, smelling her armpit: My armpit smells great today. (pauses, smells the other armpit) Almost as good as this one.
Fort Myers, Florida
Overheard by: Greg Dunn
Cubicle drone to neighbor: They don't want to be dicks. It's like they want us to be their surrogate dicks.
Redmond, Washington
Grunt: It’s a sad day when you can’t bite someone.
1056 Home Avenue
Akron, Ohio
Woman to friend: I don’t mind telling you — I have just recently accepted Jesus into my life as my personal savior and salvation, and my life has changed so much. I mean, look — I got a Lincoln Continental!
Starbucks, 2300 Mendocino Avenue
Santa Rosa, California
Overheard by: Thankful to God for other reasons
Male coworker, after being given a fresh donut: I don't think I could be anymore of your friend than I am right now.
Female coworker: Yeah, it just peaked out.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Doughnut King
