Reporter, explaining “executive session” privilege to another: The mayor could fuck a donkey in executive session, and they wouldn't have to tell me. But if she does it in the regular session, I'll be all over it.
Weatherford, Texas
Overheard by: Roxie
Senior: Isn’t “Butternut Bread” a brand? I know there is Mrs Baird’s, Iron Kids… Sunbeam…
Intern: Oh, there’s a strip club around here with a one-armed stripper named Sunbeam… But we call her “Nub”.
Senior: [Silence.]
Houston, Texas
Co-worker on phone: I will send it V. I. A. fax.
285 Primrose Lane
Fairfield, Connecticut
Peon: I’m going to be on a jury! I really hope I get a murder trial, since I’m in the city. When I lived in the country, I had to be on a jury for this guy who hit a cow. I’m like, ‘I don’t want to sit through this!’
351 West Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Temp-tation
Coworker #1: Teach me how to say something dirty in Bulgarian.
Coworker #2: I’m not Bulgarian, I’m Bosnian.
Coworker #1: What’s the difference?
Coworker #3: Are you Mexican?
Coworker #1: Hell no!
Coworker #3: That’s the difference.
2157 Main Street
Buffalo, New York
Male worker: There’s already been a killing over a PlayStation 3.
Female worker who waited in line but didn’t get one: Well, at least he got to play it for a while!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: The Temp
Secretary to assistant: Yeah, I went through my lesbian phase, but I could never go back to women ’cause I like giving blowjobs too much!
4400 Burnet Road
Austin, Texas
Colleague: How long do you think you'll be?
Female colleague: We've just gotta pick up our balls and then we'll come back.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Particularly unattractive coworker to the room: How do you spell “ugly”?
Medfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Y…O…
Cube drone #1: Hey, Mike.
Cube drone #2: Yup?
Cube drone #1: How's it going?
Cube drone #2: Okay.
Cube drone #1: That project coming along okay?
Cube drone #2: Nope.
(silence)
Cube drone #1: You want to talk about it?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kitty
