Coworker #1, in call center, taking a caller off hold: Thanks for holding me.
Coworker #2: Are you having problems at home?
Germantown Parkway
Memphis, Tennessee
Coworker #1, in call center, taking a caller off hold: Thanks for holding me.
Coworker #2: Are you having problems at home?
Germantown Parkway
Memphis, Tennessee
Line cook #1: Man, I had a friend that just got fired after being at her job for 20 years. That’s messed up.
Line cook #2: That’s terrible. What happened?
Line cook #1: She put bleach in her coworker’s coffee. She said it was just a practical joke, and they fired her for that, after 20 years.
Line cook #2: She did what?!
Line cook #1: She said it was a practical joke.
Line cook #2: Man, if I wanted to kill someone you’d know it. I’d just stab you.
4550 Scott Avenue
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Never eating there again
Overly gay coworker: Oh. My. God. Why are you not answering your phone? I've had the same call ring back to me three times.
Coworker: Okay, you're gonna need to turn down the homosexuality, because all I'm hearing is, “blah blah blah, I'm such a fag, blah blah blah.”
Maryville Centre
St. Louis, Missouri
Co-Worker #1: Do you know who I’m talking about?
Co-Worker #2: Wait, is she attractive?
Co-Worker #1: I guess.
Co-Worker #2: Blonde? Short?
Co-Worker #1: Yah, that’s her.
Co-Worker #2: She’s married.
Co-Worker #1: Yah. Does she smoke weed?
Co-Worker #2: I don’t think so. But she should. That or a Xanax.
150 South Wacker
Chicago, Illinois
Team leader: Alright everyone, I’m headed out for the weekend. So long.
Teammate #1: Farewell.
Teammate #2: Auf wiedersehen.
Teammate #3: Goodbye!
Hanover, Maryland
Overheard by: Adam
Office drone #1: Tomorrow we need to talk about that thing we were going to talk about last week but didn't because of the other thing.
Office drone #2: Right.
Office drone #3: You could have just called. Now we're all sitting here wondering and guessing what that mystery message is about.
Office drone #1: Oh, you're fine.
Office drone #3: Damn right! 24/7!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: University Lackey
Coworker in response to email she just got: Oh my god, Sandy*, you stupid whore.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: other side of the cube
Worker #1: He figured out how to take the “this was sent from a BlackBerry” message off, so he can email and nobody knows he’s not in the office.
Worker #2: Gosh, he’s sneaky.
900 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Duncan
Office monkey #1: I am so mad at John. I just scheduled three meetings for him on Thursday morning. Don't ask me how I pulled that rabbit out of my ass!
Office monkey #2: Wow…where'd you get the expression “pulling a rabbit out of your ass?”
Office monkey #1: Because pulling a rabbit out of a hat is easy!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Wondering how to pull a rabbit out…
Coworker to another who has just joined the conversation: And then we segued into Lucky Charms…
Raleigh, North Carolina
