Grunt #1: So, this report is wrong.
Grunt #2: Yes.
Grunt #1: I see what I did wrong.
Grunt #2: Good!
Grunt #1: Do you know why I filled this out incorrectly?
Grunt #2: Uhhh…
North Side
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Diana_C
Grunt #1: So, this report is wrong.
Grunt #2: Yes.
Grunt #1: I see what I did wrong.
Grunt #2: Good!
Grunt #1: Do you know why I filled this out incorrectly?
Grunt #2: Uhhh…
North Side
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Diana_C
Coworker #1: I am going to come in on Monday and tell [Dave] to shove it.
Coworker #2: Do I even want to know why?
Coworker #1: I’m going to win the lottery this weekend. Fifty-six million dollars!
Coworker #2: If I win the lottery, I will go around running into every person in Houston who has ever cut me off! And those that come out of the parking lot right when the light turns green and then cross all three lanes in front of everyone, I’m just gonna floor it…
Coworker #1: Uh, I was just talking about not having to work for a while.
2875 Antoine
Houston, Texas
Cubicle dweller: Oh. So your nipples are squeaky too?
Cottage Grove, Wisconsin
Office woman #1: I'm like a Japanese girl. I like everything tiny.
Office woman #2: Everything?
Office woman #1: Yes, I like everything to be tiny.
Office woman #2: Well, I like things to be a nice size.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Admin assistant: Don’t worry, I’m on top of Barry*.
Sales assistant: … What was that?
Admin assistant: I’m on top of… Shut up!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Assistant to receptionist: Remember that phone call you transferred to me earlier? The guy you thought was drunk? Turned out he was just Canadian.
Reston, Virginia
Sports editor: I think you need to apologize for that.
Opinion editor: Okay, but you need to meet me halfway. I’m sorry for hitting you, but you need to apologize for existing.
5211 Old Charlotte Highway
Monroe, North Carolina
Grunt #1: If there is a tornado today, are you our emergency person?
Grunt #2: Nope, I really don’t care if you die.
Beach Street
Fort Worth, Texas
Coworker to boss: I hope he doesn't go because his protruding nose hairs are very distracting.
Los Angeles, California
Clerk #1: What are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Clerk #2: I'm not doing anything, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving.
Clerk #1: What, are you Jewish?
Leader Heights, Maryland
