Folks in our little cube farm were shutting things down to leave for the weekend, when a loud voice rose from one of the cubes: Just once I wish Microsoft Outlook would wait while I shut down!
1256 Porter Avenue
Bristol, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Michael Leatherbury
Coworker: I can't go to Easter service anymore. I've discovered I'm allergic to the incest. I mean “incense.”
Dallas, Texas
Coworker #1: Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip?
Coworker #2: Miracle Whip. If I'm going to eat a bowl of mayonnaise, I'm going totally cracker–Iowa style.
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Amused and Grossed Out
Office grunt: I don’t know where he gets it from… No, wait, I know where he gets it from — he sucks the energy of others.
Software office
Hauppauge, New York
Overheard by: Lauren
Coworker #1: I can't believe you would give someone a nickname like that!
Coworker #2: I thought you knew what a “pole smoker” was.
Coworker #1: No, I didn't. And my mom didn't think it was funny when my wife explained it to the family at Easter, either!
Coworker #2: So does that mean you're going to change your screen name?
Evansville, Indiana
Proofer: Is “situs” the right word there? I'm not sure what that is.
Actuary: Yes, I don't know what that is either, but we've been using it consistently.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Employee #1, about former boss: Why is her Facebook picture a bird?
Employee #2: She loved birds. She has a cajillion of them. When she worked here there was bird shit everywhere. There are still some remnants.
Falls Church, Virginia
Overheard by: My desk has a window
Data entry guy #1: Ya know what freaks me out?
Data entry guy #2: Um… What?
Data entry guy #1: Canadians.
Dallas, Texas
Employee, looking at coworker's photos: I don't think this is appropriate for the workplace. (pause) Wait! Go back, go back…I think I have that same cap gun!
Canberra
Australia
Female coworker: The only way a woman can make it in the industry is if she has huge boobs!
Male coworker: Hey, guys need to have large nuts to make it.
Vancouver
BC
Canadia
