Bartender: I was sitting at the bar having a beer before work, and an old lady came up and gave me the nicest compliment.
Manager: Oh, yeah? What did she say?
Bartender: She told me that I was a very pretty girl and I should get up off the barstool and quit being a slut all my life.
Manager: So, she really called you a slut.
Bartender: Well… I guess she did.
405 N Interurban Avenue
Richardson, Texas
Female coworker #1: So, what do you think about Henry?
Female coworker #2: He’s an odd egg, but a good egg — at least when he’s not licking people.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Creative director: Okay, well… just… put it on the back burner for now. And maybe it will go away.
Art director: I like where your head is at.
Ad agency
Hudson Valley, New York
Overheard by: Staci Lynn
IT worker : They’re great for smuggling midgets across the border.
Richmond, Virginia
Manager: You’re doing a very good job playing the game ‘Stump the Louis*.’
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: It’s a pretty easy game
Salesman: They like us. We have a good taste in their mouth.
Bay Street
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Student: This place is nice.
Employee: Yeah, it’s really peaceful until the homeless guys look at porn on the Internet and they have to call the cops.
Student: Does that happen a lot?
Employee: Yeah. What else do they have to do?
Law Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Lady peon: Having a shower in December is the perfect idea. You’re going to get so many sex toys!
Baby goods store
Danbury, Connecticut
Overheard by: This makes my job worth it…
Worker: Why do professional people talk so loud in an office environment? You know what I love? “Kitty-cats!” shouted down three offices.
175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
Coworker: I am so not type A. No ambition! Woo hoo!
3811 O’Hara Street
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
