Manager: It’s rainin’ like a cow peein’ on a rock.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Manager: It’s rainin’ like a cow peein’ on a rock.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Office philosopher: Everyone's pretty much a lesbian bike messenger in Portland, anyway.
San Diego, California
Woman to man: You're like, one of those, like, glass dolls, and there's like, an owl, in a shop.
Monroe, Toledo
Overheard by: Katy
Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the password to see it online. So, I need to know how much it is.
Employee: You can’t pay it without his authorization. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t authorize anything, he’s incarcerated.
Employee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obituary or the death certificate.
Woman: What? He’s incarcerated! [pause] He’s in jail.
Employee: Oh.
Frederick, Maryland
Broker #1: Okay, here's one: would you rather lick the bulge on Jimmy's leg or eat the skin that Richard peeled off his foot last year?
Broker #2: As sick as this sounds, I'd take Jimmy's bulge in a second. I had to sit next to Richard. His foot had a crack in it so deep you could stick a pencil in it.
Chicago, Illinois
Entry level peon: What I need is a lackey to follow me around and do stuff for me when I tell them to.
Manager: Listen honey, I hate to tell you this, but you are the lackey.
Argentia Road
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: Nobody’s bitch
Minion #1: Do you have any chocolate?
Minion #2: Nope…I have beef chunks.
Minion #1: Uhhhhh…
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Virginia
Peon: Rice belly would jiggle. Beer belly would, like, wobble hard.
King Street East
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Thank you, sensei
CSR on cell, laughing: So you got a wet belly instead of a wet butt?
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Very upset office lady: I can't believe she is downstairs eating corn while you are printing this out!
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: DougEvil
