VP: There is a reason why advertisers do not target user-generated content. They do not want their ads being placed next to naked women. With casual gaming and chess videos, they know what they get. Unless you have nude chess games…and in that case, I need to learn how to play.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Sabotage
Coworker, on voicemail: It started yesterday before I left work, but it just got worse and I spent all night on the toilet. Well, on and off the toilet, it was coming out of both ends if you know what I mean. Anyway, I'll spare you the gory details. Suffice it to say I'm going to be working from home today. I need to lie back and relieve some of this pressure in my abdomen.
Denver, Colorado
Interviewer: So, can you drive a multi-position snowplow?
Interviewee: No. But my cousin can.
Department of Transportation
Denver, Colorado
Coworker: It smells like really strong pot in here! (lifts his shirt up to his nose, sniffing) And it's not me!
Aspen Business Center
Aspen, Colorado
Boss to secretary: At my last job, the two tech guys were the happiest. Except for the one that killed himself.
Denver, Colorado
Geek #1: So, I just don't know why it's running so slowly.
Geek #2: Did you take a tcp dump?
Geek #1: Oh, that's a good idea. I'll go take a dump and look at it!
Geek #2: Let me know how that works out for you.
Westminster, Colorado
Employee: So, how was your night?
Boss: I played catcher last night, so now my butt's killing me!
Employee: Um, you're talking about the softball game, right?
Denver, Colorado
Work bee, complaining about wife's: So I said, “Babe, we live in this country for two reasons, breakfast food and good toilet paper.”
Colorado
Overheard by: shaine
Male coworker: I have a date with a new woman this weekend.
Female coworker: Yeah? What's she like?
Male coworker: Sounds promising. She doesn't smoke. No kids. No pets.
Female coworker: You do realize that your endgame involves being this woman's boyfriend and not her landlord, don't you?
Lakewood, Colorado
